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Donaire Father-Son Team Faces Inevitable Split Due to Wife PhilBoxing.com Mon, 10 Nov 2008 "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself." - Khalil Gibran, The Prophet. Nonito Donaire Sr. and his namesake, Nonito Jr., have traveled and survived the rough and cobbled roads of life with the son holding on to his father's hand for support and guidance. Both shared a dream. They wanted to succeed in the cruel and painful field of sports called boxing. The dream may have been more intense on the father, a former army soldier in Cotabato who also boxed as an amateur. "I gave up a lot of opportunities in my life just to make sure that my sons (Glenn and Nonito Jr.) would be able to make it to the amateur boxing ranks and finally become professionals," Nonito Sr. once intimated to me. But the sweet smell of success, and of course the financial rewards that come along with a world boxing crown, filling the air of the Donaire abode is now starting be be spoiled by the foul odor of a souring relationship between father and son and this is mainly of Nonito Jr.'s new wife, taekwondo jin Rachelle Marcial. And unless something is done fast to remedy the situation, patch things up and put things in their proper places, what used to be a beautiful relationship between father and son -- trainer and boxer -- will soon come to a bitter end. In fact, there are already talks that Donaire Jr. should get a new trainer. I had the privilege of knowing the Donaires up close. Nonito Sr. was introduced to me by a California-based friend, Jun Laquindanum, a couple of years ago. But there was an almost instantaneous friendship and kinship between us. Nonito Sr. used to serve in the Philippine Army and was assigned in my province, North Cotabato, before I became governor. Nonito Sr. later introduced me to Nonito Jr. and this was when the younger Donaire had already won the IBF/IBO flyweight crown. This was also when he was already engaged to his wife now, Rachelle. She is a bit strong in personality, and many people I know don't express a liking to her. The problem in the Donaire camp started when Nonito Jr., although not necessarily a Caspar Milquetoast, started to yield in to the dictates of his new wife even in matters that involved his career, including his training. Rachelle wanted to get involved with Nonito Jr.'s career and she made this clear early on when during a visit to Manila before their wedding, she told a group of newsmen to deal with her saying "Junjun is so disorganized." Assuming the role of a business manager and de facto manager, Rachelle also reportedly started talking directly to Top Rank to the consternation of Donaire's registered manager, Cameron Dunkin. Donaire Sr. had long been hurting. It is a feeling that is easy to understand. A father who steered and guided his son's life and career now suddenly sidelined would really feel bitter. "And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts." Rachelle may be the object of blame now but it is not entirely her fault. Donaire Jr., the world boxing champion, takes most of the fault for being insensitive to the feelings and insecurities of his father. Is there a way out? Could the relationship be saved? Yes, of course. And only the three of them could do it. Rachelle, the wife, must come to realize that her domineering attitude turns off a lot of people and gives Nonito Jr. the image of a henpecked husband. She must assume the role of a wife who cares for her husband's health and career without necessarily interfering with the training program and the manager's job. Nonito Jr. must be sensitive to the feelings of his father. He is not just his trainer but the very person who held his hand as a young boy and guided him to where he is now. A gesture of respect and a manifestation of love will certainly give Nonito Sr. a lot of comfort. Nonito Sr. must stop feeling like a boy whose object of affection was taken away from him. Indeed, he should never expect to steer and handle Nonito Jr.'s career now, his son having taken a family of his own. "You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams." Roles must be defined and if need be, contracts must be signed between Nonito Sr., the trainer, and Nonito Jr., the boxer, with the wife affixing her signature for conformity. All three of them must be willing to make these efforts if they want to save what used to be a beautiful relationship between father and son. Only they could fix this. "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth." - Khalil Gibran. Top photo: Nonito Sr. (L) puts on the belt on Nonito Jr. after Donaire's victory over Mthalane of South Africa last Nov. 1 at the Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. Photo by Dr. Ed de la Vega. Click here for a complete listing of columns by this author. Click here for a complete listing of this author's articles from different news sources. |
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