Every mode of fiction lends itself to boxing. Boxing is absolutely fundamental in a way no other sport is, but it is also combative and bloodthirsty?
If you get the wrong person talking about pound-for-pound and the definition thereof, you can be in for something of a difficult chat. For some, pound-for-pound is representative of a literal value of each pound of flesh a fighter owns, divided by itself. Who would win a fight between the 254-pound heavyweight contender Tyson Fury and the 104-pound minimumweight contender Katsunari Takayama, were there no difference in size? If you can answer that question (and it hurt me just to type it), you know which one is the superior ?pound-for-pound.?
For others, including myself, it?s just a broad way of comparing the successes and skillsets of the best fighters in the world in order that be able to organize them from best to worst.
For a final and most discomforting group, pound-for-pound arguments are nonsensical. These people make me uncomfortable because they are intrinsically quite right. It is childish to organize ten or more fighters who will never meet to prove you right or wrong in an order that most pleases you and then sharing it ? but it is also absolutely addictive and rather satisfying. I think it?s just the fan?s way of bringing order to the hopelessly disordered world of professional fighters.
Nevertheless, I do find myself clamming up a bit around people that find this method of comparison ludicrous or irrelevant, and most especially around a friend I correspond with by email who calls these pound-for-pound lists ?mythical.? When I spent three months of my life working on a pound-for-pound top hundred for this site he accused me of ?wasting my time writing a Bible in fulfillment of the most enduring fistic myth when you should be painting the fucking house!?
He?s charming otherwise, I promise.
Anyway, there was something about that line that stuck with me. ?In fulfillment of a fistic myth.?
?Boxing,? wrote Marcel Berlins in The Guardian some years ago, ?[has] been the setting for more top class writing than any other sport?this is true of both factual and fictional.?
It is not just writing, however. Every mode of fiction lends itself to boxing. Probably this is something to do with the nature of the sport which is absolutely fundamental in a way no other is, but it is also combative and bloodthirsty, which is perhaps why there are so many excellent films about boxing and why, more recently, there are some genuinely excellent video games.
And the characters that populated these many and varied worlds? Organizing them from best to worst was just too tempting.
In fulfillment of a fistic myth, here?s an entirely mythical top ten pound-for-pound.
10 ? Isaac Frost
Isaac Frost was named ?a weird amalgamation of all the Rocky villains? by one observer, and it is hard to think of a better description but I?ve tried and here it is: Frost is what the makers of the documentary film When We Were Kings want you to believe George Foreman was before Muhammad Ali crushed him.
With the addition of about another seventy pounds.
And two inches.
He?s also a brilliant boxer with a crazy line in cutting off the ring, demonstrating an intelligence that his kind just isn?t famous for, or at least the mechanics that represent it. Powerful, fast, good at all ranges and in his own universe he numbers amongst the most difficult of his kind to beat.
The former heavyweight and amateur champion was protected moving up and retired prematurely with a 33-1 record, preventing him scaling the heights on this list but making him a worthy inclusion.
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9 ? Sherlock Holmes
?I?ll have you know Doctor that I am a very good boxer,? Sherlock Holmes advised his biographer, Dr. John Watson. ?One might go so far as to call me an expert.? Watson, to his detriment, did not believe his friend and mentor and the two squared off for sparring; suffice to say that Watson got very much the worst of that encounter.
Holmes is described by Watson and others as being dazzlingly fast, with superb footwork and a harrowing ability to slip and counter. Not a huge puncher, his wiry ?almost skeletal? frame disguises a sharp punch that Holmes often employed in his not inconsiderable adventures whenever his more cognitive functions failed him, but he also has a very successful amateur career and very clearly the deep respect of the one professional Sherlock met according to his biography, a journeyman by the name of McMurdo, who rated him highly, accusing him, with the blindness of the devout, of having ?wasted his gifts? in neglecting to turn professional. ?You might have aimed high,? McMurdo tells Holmes, ?if you had joined the fancy!?
In fairness, McMurdo is right, Holmes has been included somewhat based upon potential, although the emergence recently of film on which he displays extraordinary tactical and strategically awareness and flexibility makes listing him here a little easier for me.
Certainly in combination with his superb defense and countering ability his lauded genius adds a pleasing second dimension to his boxing ability.
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8 ? James ?The Grim Reaper? Roper
Roper was perhaps the first great heavyweight to hit upon the problem of opposition: there wasn?t any. As the talent pool began to dry up, making money became, for him and his colorful promoter Fred Sultan, a matter of promotion rather than peril. Roper?s disgraceful defence against 0-0 Terry Conklin, who apparently qualified for a title shot against one of boxing?s more dominant champs based exclusively upon a victory over him from their amateur days, was the result and the fight that ?The Grim Reaper? is most remembered for. That, of course, is a little unfair. Roper won over thirty fights as a professional, showed real domination over post-Tyson opposition and went through his entire prime unbeaten. An occasional proclivity towards undertraining and that infamous one-punch KO ?loss? at the hands of Marvin Shabazz hurts his standing, but how many heavyweight champions train on smokes and ice-cream and win in the first round against title opposition anyway?
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7 ? ?Sailor? Steve Costigan
Bereft entirely of any amateur pedigree, Sailor Steve Costigan built his style in back alley fights that saw him scrap his way from his native Galveston, Texas, across America and into port, a move that would see him crowned the most feared fighting sailor anywhere in the world between the two world wars. Costigan numbers his victories in the hundreds and fought on almost every continent in the world in defense of that very unofficial title. Bang on 6? and boxing at around 190 lbs. in trim, Costigan was a big man for his era and needed to be; always exhibiting more skill than his grunting reputation allowed, he nevertheless eschewed ?fancy boxing,? even despised it, in favor of the type of toe-to-toe slugging that makes legends.
?I ain?t a clever boxer,? as the man himself puts it, ?I?m a rough and willing mixer in the ring.?
Steve did have a tight grasp of what that meant for both he and his opponents however, and he was not shy of taking what he saw as necessary punishment to get his attack across. Indeed, despite his scathing body-attack, serious punching power and tactical awareness (if not flexibility) it was his astonishing punch resistance and durability that made him perhaps the most feared man in the world. It is my understanding that in 20 years of unarmed combat fought in all corners of the globe under all imaginable conditions, from skin to gloves, from limit to unlimited distance, from fighting for fun and his freedom, Costigan was stopped just once by a fighter concealing a horseshoe in his right glove.
A ham and egger you might say? Costigan banished all thoughts of such criticism in 1930 when, banished from his beloved Sea Girl by his disturbed and alcoholic Captain, Costigan took up with the circus as a strongman and fighter, taking on any member of the latest audience for a fee. In Ironville, Nevada, Costigan was confronted by a ?big black-headed feller with shoulders as broad as a door, and arms like a bear?s paw.? This turned out to be none other than top heavyweight contender Bill Cairn, the division?s top puncher. Battling a hostile referee and crowd as well as the world?s deadliest hitter Costigan swallowed round after round of brutal punishment, bounced to the canvas more than twenty times before breaking his prestigious foe on an anvil of heart and bone.
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6 ? Clubber Lang
Clubber Lang?s astonishing 56-1 record with 56 knockouts is tempered, slightly, in this company by the level of opposition he met. Whilst it is true that he was forced, by Rocky Balboa?s management, to tread water whilst waiting for his title shot (in reminisce of Sonny Liston, the champion Lang can be most readily compared to) it is also true that Lang, for the most part, was beating up the same contenders as Balboa having treaded serious water during the Creed reign. We know this because at no time is Lang?s name mentioned as a possible opponent for Creed when Mac Green pulls out of their scheduled fight, opening up Balboa?s title shot. Lang, we must presume, was not ranked during the Creed era, although by the time of Rocky?s first defence, he has almost fifty fights to his name.
Lang was heavily protected coming up despite the fact that he was self-managed.
Nevertheless, that protection birthed a taught, brutal southpaw cannonball with durability and savage punching power,
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5 ? The Memphis Kid
?Too intricate an art,? is how journalist Frank Hughes described the sublime brilliance of middleweight contender Memphis Kid in explaining his failure to get across with fight fans of the 1940s and ?50s. ?He was never a crowd pleaser because he knew too much. He never went out to make a show. He went to get a job done?for the people who hang around Stillman?s gym he was a pro. The people who go to fights don?t know a pro from an amateur?
Of the house of pugilism that was Stillman?s, contender Eddie Brown noted that it would come to a dead halt when The Kid climbed into the ring to do his thing. ?Even the managers would stop arguing?he never made a bad move. I used to get a kick out of just watching him pick off punches.?
Handled badly by a series of managers more suited to the insurance game than the fight game, he was staunchly avoided by almost every top ranked fighter from London to LA. The fear of other men and their management sent him all over the world and into three weight classes ? respected all the way up to heavyweight, he was and perhaps remains the most feared contender in middleweight history.
A reminder that being a black defensive genius in the 1940s generally meant poverty, The Memphis Kid is the very definition of a fighter who was simply too good for his own good.
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4 ? Rakim Oaks
Rakim Oaks is a name that would have been whispered behind newspapers in barbershops fifty years ago. Now it?s whispered on internet forums by people who want to believe in a fighter who is said to weigh in at around 245 lbs. and stand at just over 6?5.
It is also said that when Mike Tyson was incarcerated in Plainfield Correctional Facility he, at first, got along just fine with the other inmates, the lifer, Oaks, included, but his first Christmas inside was a difficult time. Tyson wanted to be Santa; but Oaks was already Santa ? words were exchanged and a date was made.
In the bowels of the Plainfield Correctional Facility Rakim Oaks knocked Mike Tyson out inside ten rounds, according to most accounts.
There is no lifer by the name of Oaks in Plainfield. It seems unlikely that he exists, that he ever existed. But he is the only entry on this list that sent a chill down my spine when I selected him. Known, perhaps, by a different name, he may stalk the halls of Plainfield yet. If it is so then society is both better and worse off without him at large.
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3 ? Rocky Balboa
It?s 1975; Mack Lee Green pulls out of his purported showdown with dominant champion Apollo Creed on short notice and Creed decides to give ?a lily white underdog? the chance of a lifetime. That underdog, the greatest underdog in the history of sports, is Rocky Balboa.
Balboa loses to Creed, but becomes the first man ? ever ? to go the distance with Creed, thereby proving he is ?not just another bum from the neighborhood,? his controversial (from a gambling standpoint) mission statement the night before the fight.
Where he lost the fight, Balboa won the hearts of a nation. All aggression and courage, Balboa?s legendary body attack and enormous durability made him a crowd favorite for all time. In part, this is the reason many will be shocked Balboa appears at #3 rather than #1 on this list, but the fact is that his paper record remains uninspiring 57-23-1 and it is a fact that he lost to every great fighter he ever met, going 1-1 with Clubber Lang, 1-1 with Apollo Creed and 0-1 with Mason Dixon. Whilst his victory over Ivan Drago is made more impressive in the light of Drago?s future achievements, a life and death struggle with a professional debutant is hardly a hook upon which to hang a legacy. Neither Lang nor Creed fought a rubber with Balboa and there was no rematch for Drago.
Still, Balboa?s achievements are considerable and he excelled so greatly at what he was good at, he arguably has the greatest mix of heart and durability in HW history (despite the disturbing KO loss to Lang). Whilst Rocky could easily be presented at #1, and whilst this would likely be the easiest and the most popular choice, he seems to me to fit rather snuggly just inside the top of three of absolute elite of made-up-boxers.
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2 ? Epeius
When Patroclus fell at the gates of Troy, the greatest of all the Greek warriors, Achilles, took it pretty hard, possibly due to a romantic involvement (opinions vary). Regardless, the funeral feast was a doozy with a full quota of games and competition to mark the soldier?s passing ? including boxing.
Achilles set out the prizes for the gloved contest, skin gloves, probably bullskin, a ?hard working mule? for the winner, ?six years unbroken ? the hardest kind to break,? a signifier of the coming champion?s durability, and a ?two-handed cup? for the loser.
Rising up in reply to the challenge, Epeius, son of Panopeus, names himself the winner before a gong has even sounded.
?Step right up and get it ? whoever wants that cup?[nobody] will knock me out. I am the Greatest.?
Yes, by the better part of three-thousand years, Epeius pre-dated the line-in-patter favored by Muhammad Ali. Epeius, ?the great boxing champion? continued in a vein that would have made him green with envy.
?I?ll crush you with body-blows, I?ll crack your ribs to splinters!? he announced, defining a style that was perhaps more akin to Marciano than Ali, although some translations of the dead language in which he spoke make no mention of a body attack, merely a determination to ?tear your flesh to ribbons and break your bones!?
In answer, silence ? until at last ?Godlike Euryalus,? the son of a King stepped forwards, an expert pugilist specialist who defeated every opponent at the funeral games for the great (though monumentally confused) Oedipus.
It is fascinating to note that some accounts have them ?trading jabs? in the opening moments although all agree that when push came to shove it was a war. Epeius was forced to swallow ?flurries of jolting punches? as the battle stretched out, each man drenched in sweat before Euryalus at last became careless, and Epius sent over a ?smashing roundhouse hook? to his opponent?s exposed head, dropping him, unconscious. ?Head lolling to one side, spitting clots of blood,? the brave Euryalus was lifted from the ring, Epeius defeating the champion of Thebes at the gates of Troy.
Still, might number two be too high? A vintage superfight might not be enough to land Epeius at #2, but consider some of the legendary warriors that refused to answer his call at Troy. Was the giant Ajax in his cups? What made Odysseus so determined to wrestle rather than box that day? And what of Achilles himself, what made him ignore the most blatant of challenges at the sight of his greatest glory?
Epeius was widely ducked, and no wonder, he showed both power and durability, and the finish hints at no small grasp of strategy. If you doubt it, consider Epeius wasn?t just a brawler: he was also the man who built and operated the Trojan horse, the greatest feint in the history of combat.
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1 ? Apollo Creed
A legitimate heavyweight with height and reach to match, Apollo Creed moved like Ali and hit like Joe Louis. By 1975, the date of his first fight with Balboa, Creed had amassed a paper record of 46-0 with 46 knockouts. He had never been beaten, not even down and nobody, but nobody, went the distance with Creed.
It is a sometime forgotten fact that Creed beat all-time great southpaw Rocky Balboa in their first meeting, having trained negligibly for a match he considered more a show than a fight. The rematch was the only defeat of his career, and in the words of the man himself he lost by ?one second, one second, that?s very hard for a man of my intelligence to handle.?
One second was enough ? Creed retired with a record of 47-1, vastly superior to Balboa?s, and amassed against superior opposition.
Could he have beaten Epeius? The age-old question with the age-old answer to match: it depends upon the details. In a fight to the finish with ox-skin gloves Epeius would be favored to repeat Balboa?s trick even against a prime Apollo; Creed outboxes the Greek giant over 15 with the gloves.
Creed was the bearer of many nicknames, he was the ?King of Sting,? the ?Count of Monte Fisto,? the ?Dancing Destroyer,? all true an amalgamation of skill and physical brilliance never again encountered in the pantheon of boxing ? real, or imagined.
