Ever thought that you belonged on another planet, or in another dimension? Was Schrodinger right? Questions that I have asked myself repeatedly this month. Nothing really surprises any more where boxing is concerned, but even by the sport?s own bizarre rules the last few days of 2013 have been a bummer of astronomical proportions.
Some uppity boxing Gods had obviously got bored with watching Mike Tyson and had decided to whip things up a bit. No one, now, can argue that they didn?t achieve the desired results. Strangeness is around every corner and there are no signs of it letting up anytime soon; even the bookmakers are tearing their hair out and smoking cigars right down to the nub. What?s been happening to boxing? Have we all entered the twilight zone? It?s too horrible to contemplate, but I?ll give it a go.
Carl Froch is still 8/15 favorite in any rematch with George Groves. Madness.
The Froch vs. Groves event was a pantomime from start to finish?punctuated only by a brutal and memorable eight rounds of hard hitting. It ended in the way we all secretly knew it would. There could be no other finish to something so hyped and so full of mutual hate. Instantly, George won a whole heap of positive emotion from the fans; a different kind of emotion than Howard Foster was on the end of in his Doncaster home the next day, cowering behind the sofa every time the doorbell rang out. Howard didn?t deserve that treatment. Froch walked away from the experience with an even bigger ego, and it?s a brave or stupid man who would say Carl is a guy they?d enjoy spending more than five minutes with in conversation. There is a bad winner, and then there is Carl. A rematch isn?t on the cards. Groves will regret the opportunity to legally finish what he had spent seven of the nine rounds trying to do, Froch will simply rue the whole experience well into his retirement.
Inside the ring we saw Adrien Broner getting the boxing equivalent of the seven plagues. Final proof that ?Money Making? will always let you down if it?s your primary motive for boxing. On the face of things, Maidana did to Broner what any one of us would have loved to do if we had a) The talent, and b) The fighting spirit. A more popular winner boxing hasn?t seen for a good while. Case closed, good job done, and ink drying on that whole scene?except it isn?t. Alex Ariza (Maidana?s ?conditioning coach?) was caught by a ringside camera doing a magic trick with a cloth and what looked like a tablet, between a couple of rounds. The footage is fuzzy and, ultimately, inconclusive, but Broner is pursuing it. ?It was dental cotton? said Ariza. Maybe so, but Ariza doesn?t need the attention, especially after he allegedly kicked Freddie Roach in the chest prior to the Rios/Pacquiao fight. Classy, if true.
The WBO made Alex Leapai their number one challenger after he beat Denis Boytsov in a bout which echoed vintage footage of dairy bulls mating. Even in the heavyweight division, which in the words of Dan Rafael is ?poor,? there are probably 20 fighters more deserving than Leapai of such a high ranking. This is a decision based on insanity, money, and the overshadowing presence of the Ukrainian boxing Junta. Speaking of which?.
It was the news of the week: Vitali is quitting boxing to become the president of the Ukraine. Few doubt this won?t happen in 2015. He was the face of the recent violent demonstrations and he is as likely to win the election as his brother is to put Leapai on the floor with one arm tied behind his back. We can argue if the Klitschko juggernaut is stacked, or that it?s simply well run, but no serious gambler would take a bet against Vitali succeeding.
The exit of Vitali has prompted the WBC to issue one of the daftest statements to come out of boxing since Alan Minter said ?Sure there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them have been serious.? They announced that Vitali is free to pursue whatever he chooses and, perhaps indefinitely, is welcome back to fight for the title whenever he wants. Think about that for a minute?. In essence, it?s opened the floodgates?at least for now. The contenders are lining up for a title shot and much talking is being done on social media; all of it banal. The consequences and predictions are too many to list with any sanity, but there is real fear Wladimir will get first chance at the new stooge. What?s important to the money men is that the transitory champion is patsy enough in the mean time. It?s all really too much to think about with any seriousness, and without a stiff drink.
Which brings me to the final piece of craziness. Floyd. The rumors?at least the ones I?ve heard?are his fight with Amir Khan is a nailed on certainty. I was told by someone very close to Khan that the fight was all but signed two months ago. What this gibberish about Manny Pacquiao is, is anyone?s guess? It?s a fight the entire boxing world wants to see, but Floyd can?t bring himself to go through. The writing on the gym wall was large when Floyd firstly grumbled about drug misuse, but that horse is whipped now and there is seemingly no other excuse. Wrong. Floyd now says he won?t fight Manny because he refuses to deal with Bob Arum. No, it doesn?t wash with me either.
Nobody knows the truth, least of all us. But some things are for certain. Tonight, Mike Tyson will wrestle with his demons again, Floyd Mayweather will take a trip to the bookies, and promoters across the land will mutter dark words into telephones. The Chinese lunar robot ?Jade Rabbit? will plod stoically on across the surface of the moon and it will find more answers than all of us combined.
