El Bastardo Magnifico signing off. Thank you Santa and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and to all a boxing good night!!!
Well Santa last year it was ?All I Want for Christmas No. 2: Manny, One for the Show?? and the year before that it was ?All I Want for Christmas No. 1, Floyd, Tattoos, Manny?? As usual Santa I will get this list not being politically correct business out of the way as I suppose I could, would, should, green eggs and ham style, but will not, cannot, and shall not call it the Holiday List. It has always been, for me, the Christmas List and besides Santa this is boxing so we do not have to worry about political correctness. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Well Santa I?m not going to ask for Manny vs. Money as three years straight I?m empty and better off wishing for the comeback of the long gone Sonny but I do thank you for the post card from a real honey! Well, what the hell, ring the bell, ?Fa la la la la la la la la? Happy Holiday right back at ya Hasana! And to all the busy little Elves at mqteasemag.com we most certainly appreciate the post card from Hasana. I?m afraid to even ask what you?re sending for Valentine?s Day! (P.S. Heather Shanholtz perhaps)
Well as good old Jackie Gleason used to say, ?And away we go!?
Heavy
Fury vs. Wilder. What could be better Santa, as we have two big boys that not only like to fight, but afterwards, in the ring, like to sing, and both often like to act like ding-a-lings. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells?P.S. Santa I suspect your whiskers are on more solid ground than either of these two big lads.
Cruiser
Ah! Santa, as Dear Old Pops would say, ?What the fuck!? How about anybody with Huck.
Light-Heavy
Super Six Santa with Stevenson, Pascal, Hopkins, Kovalev, Ward stepping on up, and my friend Shumenov. End of next year, Christmas cheer, it should be, at least another Christmas feast, the ?Alien? vs. Shumenov the ?Beast? and Stevenson vs. Kovalev.
Middles
Dear Santa this one?s a standout so please make sure the Elves and your little helpers wrap it all up shiny and nice; Golovkin vs. Martinez, and it sure looks like somebody?s going to pay the price. Maybe we can have Madonna do a singing ring entrance, will it be ?Don?t Cry for Me Argentina? or ?Cry for Me Argentina?! The winner can fight Peter Quillin.
Jr. Middle
Canelo vs. Kirkland! Santa would you please speak to 50 Cent and if this is pay-per-view maybe we can redeem some coupons for some of those fancy headsets (50 be surprised when we clock in the stereophonic music of Bing Crosby singing ?I?m Dreaming of a White Christmas? and on New Years, just for Canelo, we?ll do a little Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass; perhaps ?Lonely Bull,? ?Mexican Shuffle? or ?Come What May?).
Welter
Well Santa this may be the best division of the bunch and maybe we call it Welter Skelter, Welter Skelter. I?ll take Broner vs. Thurman since they are both under the same promotional umbrella and to quote our Fearless Editor?s expression of this weekend past another Broner ?whuppin,? and probably not the last. I?ll take Marquez and anybody, Manny vs. anybody because he?s still darn exciting, and Bradley vs. Mayweather even though it?s not going to happen, short of a Miracle on 34th Street. Maidana vs. Ruslan would be great! Maidana vs. Swift, another great gift.
Jr. Welter
Santa if Broner wants to move on down, and continue to act like a clown, then perhaps you could dial up top and serve up an Angel and match Broner vs. Swift Garcia. The trash talk will be loud and proud and will never stop! Broner will up Showtime subscribers, of that there is no doubt, and no problem for any of the boys and girls staying up late Christmas Eve to worry about. Broner and Garcia will most certainly entertain one another with punches to the snout! Besides Santa, Broner was jumped, humped, and stumped by ?Chino? but showed character down the stretch so it should be another big dollar gift that he does fetch.
Lightweights
Santa put Crawford in with anybody in the top five. Time to unwrap some more presents!
Jr. Lightweights
Dear Santa, Japan?s version of come and get ya Duran style beast of the East, the undefeated number one ranked Uchiyama vs. Mikey Garcia. I am a big fan Santa, as you know, of one of the heavier handed fighters in Uchiyama. Santa please send Takashi an extra big Christmas gift for defending his title on New Year?s Eve and bringing in the big bash.
Featherweights
For that matter Santa, throw in Lomachenko vs. Mikey Garcia as Mr. Lomachenko says he wants to face the best and Mikey Garcia is the best at Featherweight. I have met Mr. Lomachenko, I have watched him ringside ringside, and when he says he wants to face the best I can tell you Santa?he wants to face the best. Tell you what else would be fun Santa is Nacho?s man Gonzales vs. anyone. People forget Santa that Gonzales has wrapped up pretty, canvas style, a whole lot of opponents, including another warrior, young Mares.
Jr. Featherweights
Dear Santa, Rigo is like a small present wrapped in shiny gold. What?s the deal here Santa? Put Rigo in Miami on a hot summer night, outdoors, like the good old days of Arguello vs. Pryor against Leo Santa Cruz, the Colombian Romero, or the Mexican Terrazas. It would be a Miami hit, and for all those who think Rigo isn?t exciting please tell them all the way up to the North Pole, we don?t give a shit or a bull Schmidt.
Bantams
Panama?s Moreno is the man Santa and Kaneda should get it on with ?Chemito.? Otherwise there?s the Pinoy Tunacao.
Jr. Bantams
Santa can I see more of this Mexican Kid Cuadras. The Kid is knocking people out.
Flyweights
Santa this one is easy, as I have never seen any little man, big punch, more exciting than Panama?s Luis ?El Nica? Concepcion. El Nica vs. anybody, and how about some Hawaiian Punch Viloria to bring in the New Year? After his fights Santa, when El Nica goes to the top rope and does that back flip flying in the air and landing feet first to the canvas, like wrestler Jimmy ?Superfly? Snuka, it sure gets the Panamanian crowd fired up.
Jr. Flyweights
Dear Santa, I would please ask that you sleigh on over to Uncle Bob Arum?s house. We need Uncle Bob?s help on this one. Santa you may remember that I wrote a tribute article about Uncle Bob and how great it is to be in your eighties and still being jacked up and loving your job. We need Uncle Bob to intervene and make a fight for one of the best pound-for-pound, even though his pound is 108 pounds, fighters in the world, being the technically gifted and knockout perfected Nicaraguan Roman Gonzales and please, a fight with the Pinoy, he himself superb, Donnie Nietes.
The Straws
Santa lets keep the bells ringing with Nicaraguan boxing and put Buitrago against Menayothin.
That?s it Santa. Last year I mentioned one last thing, being James Kirkland, who seemed to be stuck somewhere down in the South Pole, being brought back into action. Well Santa you granted me that wish but I?m wondering if I can ask for a further gift as you know my thoughts on young Glen Tapia. Maybe two last things Santa, being Tapia back full throttle the next half year and putting himself back into position and that will take a comment while you?re visiting Uncle Bob. And since you?re visiting Uncle Bob and since I?m down in Las Vegas quite often can you mention, bucket list, that it would be a thrill to go over to Uncle Bob?s vault to see all the boxing archives.
Again Santa on behalf of myself and Boxing.com, if I may, thanks for sending a post card of Hasana over at mqteasemag.com and wouldn?t you like her snuggled up in your sleigh.
Santa, please send a big Christmas gift to all the boys and girls over at Golden Boy Promotions, great undercards, topped by a great main event fight, to watch and again, staying up late waiting for you Christmas night.
And Santa, in the spirit of Christmas, we at Boxing.com offer up to our colleague Sir Clarence George, who in all things is Christmas fine but for women?s boxing to which he draws a line. To Sir Clarence George we offer up by way of any Google image, or Google YouTube?s, not that I suggest they have anything against the boobtube, the finest in women?s boxing as follows: Fearless Editor if you could kindly provide us the Little Drummer drum roll please? ?Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum? to lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum? one Mariana Juarez, two Yessica Bopp, three Lauryn Eagle, four Hollie Dunaway, five Regina Halmich, six Corianne Van Ryck De Groot, seven Kina Malpartida, eight Zulina Munoz, nine and ten fill in the blanks Santa as my head is starting to spin, albeit with a very wide grin! Santa while some may see the aforementioned list as sexist extreme, please do consider that all of us at Boxing.com hold Sir Clarence in high esteem!
El Bastardo Magnifico signing off on a great year of boxing. While some may see boxing as something continuing to stumble, like the Abominable Snowman in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, ?The Bumble,? still the best sport of all so deck the hall!
Thank you Santa and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and to all a boxing good night!!!
