Congrats! You Want Clay Pigeon Foe, Real Pacman Patsy?? Phone Rodney Berman In Jo’burg Regarding His IBF Champion, Malcolm Klassen.
(This column contains no informed sources, no people familiar with anyone’s thinking or even any unimpeachable sources. There is no background or foreground to it and I can assure you no animals were harmed in its production.)
DEAR ROBERT:
Congrats on your successful trip to GenSan as we Pacland hipsters like to call Manny Pacquiao’s hometown. You must be flying right now back to LA at 35,000 feet but you have to be feeling higher than that altitude as you return to Vegas knowing that the Pacman has, for the time being anyway, publicly stated that he is a Top Rank man. Similarly, the Golden Boy crew, from Oscar on down, must be feeling like tin men now that MP has rejected their contractual love and affection.
Let the critics badmouth your agent, the mysterious Michael Koncz, the guy who sleeps on the floor in Manny’s bedroom. By the way, just wondering but since Marvelous Manny also announced that his wife, Jinkee, is his manager in place of Shelly Finkel, does Mrs. P have any say about who sleeps in the Pacman bedroom? But that is a distraction.
Poor Koncz is getting slapped from pillar to post but, in your eyes, he is a great man, a real soldier, who got the job done. This forum is open at any time for Koncz to defend himself or explain himself or whatever he wants to do. Please let Koncz know that because one of his phones does not seem to work in the PI and the other has a full voice mail box. My phone, my email and my front door are always open to Koncz but he better stay the hell out of the Marley master bedroom at my palatial Manhattan penthouse, OK?
The slamming of Koncz reminds me of the time, Bobster, when the great Boston writer Leigh Montville asked you who the old-time ticket scalper who was always around Muhammad Ali was. The colorful character’s real name was Flip Speight but since he never sent any info to the IRS or any other governmental agency he just went by Flip. Come on, you remember the cat who wore the so Superfly hats and pimped out regalia. He was also all over the scene at World Series and Super Bowls. Once, he elbowed his way into the winner’s circle of the Kentucky Derby and stood smiling into the CBS camera with his arm around the Derby winner’s owner.
Your reply to Montville was a great moment in Arumville.
“That’s Flip,” you said to the boss scribe. “He’s been a scalper, a fence and a pimp. Would you like to meet him? He’s really a helluva guy.”
May the Flipster rest in peace. (Can’t help but think he’d be all over Godfather James Brown’s public viewing at the Apollo today.)
Now back to boxing and Pacmania. So you have shoved both Golden Boy and Finkel aside, pending massive litigation to follow, and now you may go to work on eliminating trainer Freddie Roach. You have probably hit Manny off with a $1 million bonus and the strongest indemnification clause ever written.
Now you need to get him a fight and a world title belt. You’re bringing him to Macau for your pal and I’m sure Pacman’s newest benefactor, Steve Wynn. Wynn has forgotten his disaster with Buster Douglas and now can actually make money from boxing.
Have I got a clay pigeon, I mean soft opponent, for you? And the man temporarily owns the IBF 130-pound title belt. To make it even better, one of your old pals, Rodney Berman, handles the kid. His name is Malcolm Klassen and, if you toss this patsy in there with Pacman, no one can call you an Apostle Of Apartheid like Don King did years ago. Apartheid is just history now, Mandela is free and Pacman and Klassen, who beat Gairy St. Clair in November for the crown, is a Pacman patsy ready, willing and unable to beat Our Hero From Gensan.
You’re not going to make Pacman-Barrera at this point. You do not want to make Pacman-Guzman for the WBO title now. And Teiken Promotions bossman, Honorable Honda-San, is not ready to toss cult figure and WBA champ Edwin Valero into the Pacman volcano just yet. The top two IBF contenders, conveniently enough, are NR, Not Rated, something the IBF’s creative minds came up with just for lucrative situations like this.
HBO may balk when they learn that Klassen did not win five of his 24 pro bouts, losing three six-rounders against guys that even Harold Lederman never heard of and battling to a four-round and a six-round draw. Hell, Harry Ramogoadi, Takalani Ndlou and Colin Mutsila are probably guys that even Dyspeptic Dan Rafael does not know. But HBO has let certain superstars (Roy Jones among others) play whack the pasty.
But you need to ingratiate yourself even more before it is deposition time in the lawsuits with GBP and, I bet later to come, with Mr. Finkel. What better way for you to extract enough from Wynn’s treasure chest so that you can pay Pacman $5 million and then pay the champ whatever chump change is necessary. You can pay both fighters and make a profit with Wynn’s site fee alone, I’d bet.
Klassen and Berman are not in the driver’s seat, Bobala, you are. You have, at least temporarily, boxing’s hottest property and you can “showcase” for Steve at his magnificent new hotel-casino in China. I am going to start making my travel plans now.
Pacman-Klassen, it’s got a ring to it, doesn’t it? Yeah, Bob, call it a “showcase for Manny.”
The fans will go for that and it beats the hell out of “Mismatch In Macau.”
Again, like one of the legendary painters, you have delivered a masterpiece of promotional work. You seem to have out hustled men half your age.
Congrats, Generalissimo. MacArthur must be proud. You said “I shall return with Pacman” and you did it. You are the Old Master, the Pugilistic Picasso, and I think even your rival, Don King, got a kick out of hearing you outfoxed the New Kids On The Block.
Where do you sent Agent Koncz next? Basra or Baghdad come quickly to mind. This guy shouldn’t be bothering with the IBF and the WBC. It’s the CIA (and I don’t mean Canadian Intelligence Agency) which needs a whirling dervish operative like this. Maybe he can penetrate Bin Laden’s sleeping quarters in that secretive cave.
( P.S.–Bob is true that Koncz played with Bobby Orr back on the frozen pond in Parry Sound, Ontario?)
Your Pugilistic Pal,
Michael Marley ([email protected])
