Just about everyone has heard the old saying, ?When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.? That?s good advice most of the time ? but not when the lemons are rotten. Lemonade made from rotten lemons is undrinkable.
There are two upcoming heavyweight title bouts that are rotten lemons. The first is Wladimir Klitschko vs. Jean-Mark Mormeck for Klitschko?s IBF and WBO titles, as well as his WBA ?super? (don?t ask) title. This lemon is scheduled to be squeezed in Germany on December 10. The reason it?s a rotten lemon is that Mormeck is a 39-year-old former cruiserweight champion who was knocked out at that weight by David Haye, who shared the ring with Klitschko in July. Haye went the distance in a losing cause. But to say he actually fought Klitschko would be a misstatement. Mormeck, who is older and smaller even than Haye, never mind Klitschko, may well possess enough heart to put up a more crowd-pleasing effort. But his chances of beating the Ukrainian giant are nil, barring some freak accident or intervention of the boxing gods. Indeed, the fight might not even take place. Remember, Klitschko was scheduled last year to indulge in another lemony title defense against inexperienced no-hoper Derrick Chisora. An abdominal injury caused Klitschko to postpone the bout twice, then cancel it altogether so he could concentrate on shutting up the trash-talking Haye. The Mormeck lemon could prove to be rotten enough to induce another injury for Wladimir before December 10.
The second lemon is Alexander Povetkin?s first defense of his WBA ?regular? (don?t ask) title against Cedric Boswell, whose record stands at 35 wins and only one loss, with 26 of his victories coming via the short route. With an impressive-looking slate like that, what makes a title challenge by him a lemon? Well, Boswell is 42 years old, and he?s no George Foreman or Bernard Hopkins in that age category. Although Boswell?s lone loss came eight years ago at the hands of the respectable Jameel McCline, his biggest win is a decision earlier this year over decrepit ex-champ Oliver McCall. His other victories have come against fringe contenders and journeymen. And his 17-year career has been interrupted by periods of inactivity. The situation could have been worse, though, as Boswell was tapped for the shot at Povetkin only after meetings with proposed title-challengers Evander Holyfield and Hasim Rahman fell through. Bouts involving either of those has-beens would have been rotten lemons indeed.
True, even the greatest heavyweight champions have indulged in some lemon-iscious title defenses. Think Muhammad Ali vs. Jean-Pierre Coopman. Think George Foreman vs. Jose Roman. Think Joe Louis? ?Bum-of-the-Month Club.? Think the grand-daddy rotten lemon of them all: Floyd Patterson vs. Pete Rademacher in the latter?s professional debut.
Even so, if you insist on making lemonade from rotten lemons, you drink it at your own risk. Come to think of it, the heavyweight division has taken several such risks over the past few years. The promoters must have strong stomachs.
Charles R. Saunders is the author of several books including Sweat and Soul: The Saga of Black Boxers in the Maritimes from the Halifax Forum to Caesars Palace, as well as the Imaro series of fantasy/adventure novels. Considered by many to be one of the leading authorities on boxing in Canada, he is the current Vice-President of Boxing for the Society of North American Sports Historians and Researchers. His latest novel, Damballa, which centers around a fictional heavyweight title bout, is available at http://www.gopulp.info
