What with his Tufts undergrad and Harvard Law School pedigree, Lou DiBella is no dese and dose guy. If you called Volcanic Lou a dilettante, he would not have to look it up.
But, although its get little attention especially with his periodic boxing eruptions, DiBella has become a solid baseball man.
He started out in baseball as the owner of a struggling team stuck in the Connecticut woods, up near Foxwoods and Mohegun Sun.
They were the Norwich Navigators and then morphed into the Connecticut Defenders, a Class A farm team for the San Francisco Giants.
They won some on the field but even a “Don King Lookalike Night” did not boost attendance. Drawing tourists was a joke. What tourist could be lured out of the tribal casinos to watch minor league ball?
Now, what with the Wilpon family ownership hurting financially because of its involvement with giant fraudster Bernie Madoff, they say 20-25 percent of New York City’s National League franchise is up for sale.
One group which claims to be making a bid includes a son of civil rights leader Martin Luther King.
DiBella, meanwhile, relocated the Nutmeg State team to Richmond, Ca., where they are prospering as the–I kid you not–the Flying Squirrels.
Dibella, born in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn and raised on Long Island, bleeds Mets colors of orange and blue.
So what if, and this only my speculation, he got his backers to pony up for a slice of or all of the Mets?
If a DiBella led consortioum did so, here are some changes you might see out at Flushing By The Bay otherwise known as Shea Stadium/Citi Field:
1. Don King would be the only King to own a percentage of the team.
2. “Alligator Rasslin’ Night” will become a staple of the team’s schedule. All other boxing promoters will be admitted free if they bring a lawyer with them on that evening. (DiBella has promised PETA that no alligators will be harmed but says the lawyers assume their own risk.)
3. Greg Goossen, brother of fight promoter Dan, and a member of the horrible but beloved Original 1962 Mets (who played at the long gone Polo Grounds in Harlem), would be brought back as a catching coach.
4. Ethnic night promotions would feature matchmaker Joe Quiambo (Filipino-American), Sergio Martinez (Argentina Empanada and Tango Night) and former DBE fighter, Dat Be Dat (Vietnamese Night).
5. Fueled by sake and edamame one late night at the Yakitori Lounge, DiBella would drop the team name and rename them the Flying Squirrels.
6. Mister Met, longtime team mascot, would begin shopping for a squirrel costume. Mister Met will assume his new identity as “Nutzy.”
7. Baseball commissioner Bud Selig would resign effective immediately.
8. DiBella would commission someone to write the new team song, “Flying Squirrels Forever.”
9. Lou’s old pal Bernard Hopkins will be awarded the hot beverage concession but permitted only to operate on scalding summer nights.
10. Lucky fans will take home pocketbooks, belts and watch straps on the first home game following “Gator Night.” The winners will get their prizes from boxing’s former Mike Tyson cheerleader, Steve “Crocodile” Fitch.
