Stop the lies! Stop them now!
Some people think the boxing Internet landscape is litterred with way too much Manny Pacquiao coverage and a smaller overdose of anti-Floyd Mayweather material.
The Examiner, in particular, has been constantly picked on. I’ve been criticized as the sort of Charles Manson of a cult of Pacman Worship.
Nothing could be further from the truth and, just to underline this, I wanted to give you discerning readers a sneak peek at some upcoming Examiner “exclusives” being penned by myself and colleagues.
COACH TOM IZZO: How Pacquiao influenced his decision to stick with college hoops and spurn the Cleveland Cavaliers and Lebron James. (“Why would I go to Cleveland when Manny will never visit, let alone fight there”).
BP’S OIL SPILL WRECKS THE GULF COAST: Roger Mayweather, first to crack the A-Side meth doping habits of Pacquiao, has invented a foolproof method to stop the oil spillage. Prodded by his lifelong membership in the Audubon Society and as a huge Larry Bird fan as well, Uncle Roger has a plan to save the birds along the Gulf Coast. You don’t need more proof that Roger is a fool, do you? Mayweather’s solution involves stuffing massive amounts of A-Side meth into the underwater wells.
Gone But Not Forgotten: Little Gary Coleman, certainly not all hat, no cattle, was a BIG Manny Pacquiao fan (AP Photo)
LADY GAGA FLIPS THE BIRD: Insanely jealous of all the media attention given of late to Jinkee Pacquiao, Gaga goes goofy at a Mets game, parading scantily clad and flipping what many thought was the “bird” to the public. Actually, Gaga was indicating that she believes L’il Floyd is as Big Numero Uno even in P4P rankings. Look for Gaga to earn a Ring magazine cover and, you’ll pardon the expression, “spread” any day now.
TEA PARTY SUPPORTS CONGRESSMANNY: Sarah Palin, who claims she “can see Sarangani” from her mansion in Alaska, is leading the Tea Party expansion beyond US borders. Failin’ Palin will soon jet to Manila to try to get about to be sworn in Congressmanny on board with the rest of the nut jobs. Sister Sarah was “pumped” to hear that Pacman blew off a sitdown with Bob Arum crony and Democratic lightning rod (or nimrod?) Harry Reid.
GARY COLEMAN’S FINAL WORDS: I’m just as sorry the little guy is gone as I am about old white guys like John Wooden and TV superstar Art Linkletter. Learn how Coleman’s final wish was “For Pacquiao to knock that arrogant Mayweather out!” If that is not a deathbed inspiration to the Pinoy Idol, then I don’t what is.
Michael Marley says he thinks there is way too little Pacman coverage (read “adoration”) across Internet spectrum but particularly lacking by Examiners (Art by John Paul Raloto)
VANILLA ICE HAS MAYWEATHER’S BACK: Yes, the historic if not hysterical white rapper is mounting a comeback and wants to join the Mayweather entourage. “I can be the white spot on the Mayweather clique, why not?” VI said. “Fitty Cent does not have the following I do. Mayweather should hire me and MC Hammer and dump Fitty. It’s time to go Old School, Floyd.”
Too much Pacman coverage? Too many diatribes and attacks on the Mayweather Clan?
Poppycock or, as The Carpenters used to sing so sweetly, ‘We’ve Only Just Begun.”
You say too much, we say too little.
Don’t worry, we know what’s good for you.
