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It will be a chilla and thrilla when the White Gorilla gets to Manila.
Which is why I’m wondering why my pal Floyd Kill Joy Mayweather Jr. couldn’t lend me one of his Seven Testosterone Jacked Bodyguards for my personal protective purposes.
That kind of rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it…personal protective purposes.
I hope I can tour that factory where they make those famous Manila envelopes.
Not to mention when I land in Manny Pacquiao’s hometown of General Santos City (I bet the tuna sashimi is just fabulous there) and start to cover the Biggest Fight of All, the battle for Congress from adjacent Sarangani Province.
It’s on like popcorn for Pacman, a mere multimillionaire, and scion of a billionaire family, Roy Chiongbian. His family owns a shipping empire and you know they wish Pacquiao would just ship out of Sarangani which is where the Pinoy Idol’s lovely wife, Jinkee, comes from.
White Gorilla Michael Marley is NOT monkeying around, he will be in Sarangani Province to cover the heated Congressional “fight” between Manny Pacquioa and billionaire bossman Roy Chiongbian (Art by riotgrrl88)
Recent polls and other indicators have some saying Manny will toy with Roy at the polls but I’m thinking, with no knowledge at all until I hit the ground running, that it could be a squeaker either way.
I wonder if Michael Buffer, that tanfastic guy, will come in to read the final electoral results. Did I mention that I’ve asked some political operatives (Hermie Rivera undercover?) to put the balut and San Miguel on ice for my grand arrival?
As this is an economy-minded trip, this my first landing in the Philippines, I was a tad disappointed to learn that neither Greyhound or Trailways could get me there. I actually had to buy a plane ticket, go figure.
It’s too late to turn back now but, after reading this posting by the Australian government tourism agency, I did have second thoughts about my whole excursion.
But what the hell, I spent a few hours in Juarez, Mexico, a few months ago and that’s where bullets fly but there is no balut and no San Miggie, either.
If I do get kidnapped, folks, I hope you will all chip in for my safe return.
No, the wild enthusiasm of these Pacman fanatics is not related to Marley’s arrival, not hardly (AP Photo)
It would be kind of embarrassing if the kidnappers get zero offers or you dear readers send them money and tell them, “Keep the WG, keep him.”
Here’s the horror show pictured by the official Oz website:
* We advise you to exercise a high degree of caution in the Philippines because of the high threat of terrorist attack and the high level of serious crime.
* Pay close attention to your personal security at all times and monitor the media for information about possible new safety or security risks.
* Terrorist attacks could occur at any time, anywhere in the Philippines, including in Manila. We continue to receive credible reports indicating terrorists are planning attacks against a range of targets in a variety of locations, including places frequented by foreigners. You should avoid places known to be terrorist targets (see the Terrorism section below).
* On 23 November 2009, at least 57 people were abducted and killed in the province of Maguindanao on the island of Mindanao in what appears to have been a politically-motivated attack.
* Violent crime is a significant problem in the Philippines (see the Crime Section below).
* We strongly advise you not to travel to Mindanao, including mainland Mindanao, the Zamboanga Peninsula and the Sulu Archipelago, due to the very high threat of terrorist attack, including kidnapping, and related counter-terrorism operations. Armed clashes between Philippine security forces and the Moro Islamic Liberation Front could occur without warning, including in central Mindanao. Attacks occurred in mid-2009 against military and civilian targets. Further attacks cannot be ruled out.
* There is a danger of kidnapping throughout the Philippines, particularly in the southern Philippines including coastal and island tourist resorts and dive sites. Terrorists have kidnapped foreigners from these areas in the past.
* The typhoon season normally runs from late May to early December. This is also the rainy season when tropical storms, flooding and landslides may occur.
* Pandemic (H1N1) 2009 has spread throughout the world. The World Health Organization (WHO) provides useful information for individuals and travellers on its website. For further information and advice to Australians, including on possible quarantine measures overseas, see our travel bulletin on Pandemic (H1N1) 2009.
Sounds like a fun business trip, eh wot?
And I don’t mean monkey business.
This is politics, Filipino trapo time politics, so I’ve got my scuba gear all packed.
I will plunge into the murky, lower depths.
I know the water will be funky but it’s ahoogah, ahoogah, dive time.
I can’t wait and I hope to come back alive.
Any travel tips, you Pinoys and non Pinoys? I also appreciate any tips for a short stay, 12 hour stopover in Hong Kong. I’m hearing they have decent Chinese grub there.
Any must see sights in GenSan and environs other than the tuna trawlers?
The whole city sounds fishy to me but I hope to visit the actual manger where Da Pacman was born.
And I promise, I really do to NEVER lead any karaoke saloon in my ramped up, Sinatra like singing of “My Way.”
I mean, hey, I like danger but even I know my limits.
