In light of all the dirty fighting that boxing fans have witnessed lately, here’s a list of do’s and don’ts for all the boxers who want to turn the Sweet Science into ?Sports Entertainment?.
Do: Make sure to block the referee’s view before you throw a blatantly intentional, low blow. If he can’t see it, he can’t verify that it actually happened.
Do not: Under any circumstances, practice good sportsmanship until after the final bell rings.
Do: Expect to be fouled if you continually foul your opponent. For example, if you decide to jump off the mat with both feet and wrap your arms around your opponent?s head, expect to be body-slammed to the canvas. Don’t worry. This provides an excellent opportunity to pretend to be hurt.
Do not: Ever miss an opportunity to capitalize on a foul from your opponent.
Do: Act like you’re dying when your opponent retaliates and fouls you back, no matter if the low blow, late hit, or rabbit punch actually hurt you or not. If the ?low blow? is actually on the belt line, don’t worry. The referee doesn’t watch the replay. Roll around on the canvas, grimace, cry, and use as much time as possible (up to 5 minutes) to display your acting abilities. It is imperative for a dirty fighter who continually fouls others to engage in such theatrics when he himself is fouled.
Do not: Suddenly snap to life and run across the ring to attack your opponent after taking an extended theatrical break. This makes it appear that you were never actually hurt, which you weren’t, but you don’t want anybody to know that, now do you?
Do: Continue to fight after the bell as long as you’re in the middle of a flurry. Most likely this will cause your opponent to fight back and defend himself, which might make him appear as guilty as you.
Do not: Expect anyone to have any respect for you after the fight. Don’t worry about it. It’s not how you play the game, it’s whether you win or lose. Right?
Do: Talk about how dirty your opponent is in the post fight interview while pretending that you did nothing wrong.
Do not: Be surprised if nobody wants to fight you and your promoter drops you because boxing fans will never pay another thin dime to watch another one of your fights.
