Internal Memo From The White House, Oval Office
To be released: April 1, 2010 (this date only)
Re: Vital Congressional Election, Sarangani Province, Philippines (May 10, 2010 voting)
For: Your Eyes Only
I’m Barack Obama and I approved this message…
I’m not a Filipino but I did live, as a boy, in another archipelago, Indonesia.
Guys like the so called White Gorilla, Michael Marley, cannot even pronounce “archipelago” correctly.
Marley says “Archie Pelago” as though he’s referring to some former welterweight contender from South Philadelphia but at least Marley’s a true blue donkey, I mean Democratic supporter not to mention an athletic supporter…
Despite what the haters say, I was born in the United States but, let’s face it, those haters cannot name more than seven of the 50 United States, anyway. And that’s when you spot them Washington, Oregon and Idaho…
I don’t want to meddle in Pinoy politics which, as my old friend Hammering Hermie Rivera informs me, makes the rough and ready Chicago political scene look like sandbox and beanbag meaning kiddies recess time…
I did want to express why, if I lived in Sarangani Province, I would be voting for Manny Pacquiao for Congress. No disrespect to Roy Chiongbian but he seems like another Republican fat cat to me, another stuffed shirt whose sole purpose is keep the little people, and I don’t mean any leprechauns, down. Guys like Chiongbian seek to expand poverty, not curtail it…
So here’s why I support Pacquiao and the People’s Champ Party…
(DailyMail.UK Photo) President Obama has the big job and. evidently, also the big jab. Some Tea Party types have tried to label him “a southpaw”
Because I lived in Hawaii, where there are so many people with Filipino blood, and I couldn’t help but notice that, like me, they also love shave ice. I can’t wait until Pacman “ices” Mayweather… Pacquiao supports universal health care, especially for Floyd Mayweather who will need it immediately after Manny beats him like a snare drum…
I’m for new forms of energy, especially renewable energy, and who has more energy than Pacman?…And, yes, I believe his energy is completely natural energy…
Speaking of energy policies, I am throwing my weight behind offshore drilling. Pacquiao will be doing some onshore drilling, probably in Las Vegas, when he drills Floyd Mayweather…
Chiongbian represents the same old, same old, the policies that have kept so many people among the donwtrodden and the denied. Pacman can’t sing that well, but don’t tell him I said so, but he truly is a fresh voice of a New Generation. Chiongbian is just another relic who embraces, no make that who personifies, the failed policies that keep the working man and woman down…
I’m told the powerful, billionaire Chiongbian clan runs a shipping empire. Exactly, so this is why I say let’s ship Chiongbian and his tired, old ways somewhere far away from a Congressional seat…
The hoops connection, something Manny and I share is our love for playing basketball. Like me, Manny starts shooting in the locker room and, like me, he thinks passing should be done rarely as it cuts down on your points per game…
The more I think about Chiongbian and all the other repressive, monied clans who rule so many provinces in the Philippines, I think of my last foe, John McCain. We don’t need those go along to get along dinosaurs as it’s a new time, new era and we need new blood in political leadership…
Obama naturally supports keeping a fit senior citizen such as Bernie Hopkins in the workforce and off the Social Security rolls so he puts in a minor plug for Roy Jones-Hopkins on PPV TV this Saturday night (Hogan Photos/Golden Boy)
Because I think Pacquiao might advance from Congress to become president of the Philippines and then, like John F. Kennedy (one of my role models), and then he imitate JFK and name a brother named Bobby as Attorney General. What, Bobby Pacquiao is not a lawyer, has no legal training? So what, that’s where Franklin “The Jackal” Gacal comes in as the Shadow A.G….
When Pacman is your president, it will mark a return to Malacanang for Hermie Rivera which will be a boon to all barrooms and vodka and balut vendors within staggering distance of the Palace. Rivera was a key adviser to the Marcos Regime and he knows a lot about shoe business…
Speaking of which, what the heck happened to current Malacanang resident President GMA. She is leaving office with a black cloud over her head. I’m asking State Department officials, not to mention any moles we have left in Metro Manila, is Pacquiao pal Manny Villar electable?…
While I’m at, you all know of my Kenyan roots and extended family in that great African nation. Let’s consider ourselves lucky that reluctant Joshua Clottey comes from Ghana and not Kenya. I know I digress but Sarah Palin put up a more aggressive fight against me than Joshing did against Megamanny. Btw, how come they never refer to me as Megabarack?…
Another plank in the Pacquiao platform is the respectful treatment of our elders. With that in mind, I exhort you to keep both Roy Jones and Bernard Hopkins off the Social Security rolls by supporting their PPV TV fight Saturday night. If you don’t, they will be on the public dole and we don’t need that…
Finally, I wish a Happy Easter to one and all, especially the Mayweathers as they conduct their ritual hunt for “A-side meth” instead of eggs…
Which reminds me, does L’il Floyd possess the big “eggs” necessary to fight Pacquiao? Guess we start finding out on May 2, eight days prior to Manny’s landslide victory at the polls…
Yours for Pinoy Power,
BARACK OBAMA, American Boss with the Hot Sauce
Manila, Philippines Manila is the capital of Philippines The native name of Philippines is Pilipinas Current Time Thursday, April 1, 2010 at 1:50:40 AM
(Wishing all a Happy April Fool’s Day, know more popularly in the United States as Mayweather Family Day)
