I am convinced, despite whatever rumors you may hear, that Manny Pacquiao is not linked in any way, shape or form to the stunning news that Tiger Woods drives like Mike Tyson whenever trees and fire hydrants jump into his path.
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You do remember the day in Catskill (1988) Tyson slammed his BMW into a huge tree and it was passed off a suicide attempt by the late, great New York Daily News creative writer Mike McAlary. I can tell you that McAlary had inflamed sources, people with an open agenda, and he properly ran with the “movtive” on Page One.
So how do I know that Pacquiao is not involved in Woods’ mishap?
Top Reasons Why Pacman Is Not Mixed Up In Tiger Woods Car Collision:
1. Manny thinks Michael Koncz is a caddy.
2. Manny thinks a sand wedge is what you have for lunch and wash down with a cold San Miguel.
3. Because irate wives have been known to use driver and three wood against allegedly wandering hubbies, Manny has totally banned golf equiptment from his mansion.
4.Unfamiliar with the Rules of Golf, Pacquiao thinks “putter” is a verb and never a noun. For example, Manny likes to “putter around” sabong contests (cockfights).
5. As far is known, Manny has no penchants for blondes, Swedish or suicide (those “dyed” by their own hands).
6. Pacman thinks that “a sand trap” is a reference to the entirety of Dubai.
7. Manny thinks that “Mulligan” is the name of an Irish bartender in some GRO bar in Makati. (if you don’t know what Guest Relations Officer is, take a, ahem, two stroke penalty, sir.)
8. Pacquiao thinks “greens fees” refers to the suitcase filled with cash Oscar de la Hoya used to Shanghai his services that memorable night at Morton’s Steak House in .
9. Pacman doesn’t understand why a golfing great like Tiger would not know that he can move his ball(s) away from a man made object (fire hydrant) but not away from the tree without taking a penalty.
10. In a similar situation, facing a suspicious wife, Manny at least knows this golf reference which might be put to good use. It’s said in properly keeping your own golf score and being honest that, if you waver, “you are only cheating yourself.”
11. Pacquiao doesn’t read American scandal rag The Enquirer. That’s OK and, if he is lucky, the sold in supermarkets sheet won’t start covering his exploits, in and out of the ring.
