It’s a slow day on the Manny Pacquiao beat.
Try as I might, I just can’t find a Pacman angle to even the juiciest of news events.
I was going to see the new movie about Oscar de la Hoya and Ricky Hatton. You know, “Zombieland.”
Then someone told me it’s got nothing to do with Pacquiao opponents.
Never mind, then, but I still think the movie tag line, “Nut up or shut up!” is something that Coach Freddie Roach has said to pathetic poet Floyd Mayweather Sr.
Chicago rejected as site for 2016 Olympics. Of course, they lost out because Pacquiao wasn’t involved. Michele Obama should’ve had the lovely and gracious Jinkee Pacquiao at her side to work the room in Denmark…but the Obamas never asked.
Hanky panky backstage at the David Letterman Show and an extortionist is arrested. If Dave had called on Pacquiao, the extortionist would have run away empty-handed.
Newt Gingrich and other Redneck Republicans accepted money and bestowed honor on woman who owns strip club in Dallas. Then they gave her money back and canceled her award. Manny Pacquiao would have told them not to get mixed up with the woman.
Floyd Mayweather comes across in TV interview as a tad homophobic. Manny Pacquiao believes in the Rainbow Coalition, in live and let live and even likes Elton John. Pacman’s philosophy is if it doesn’t scare the horses, then who cares?
As the health insurance debate rages in America, liberals cling to their slim hopes for the public option. They should’ve consulted medical expert Manny on this because he sends his victims, including Mr. de la Hoya and Mr. Hatton, to private hospitals so they get top notch and immediate care.
Broadcasting & Cable pundit Ben Grossman dribbled, er I mean scribbled, that Kimbo Slice could liven up the heavyweight division if he said adios to MMA. Come on, Benny, wino beater Slice would be just a heavy bag for for the Klitschko Brothers and Manny Pacquiao would render him unconscious quicker than you can say Ricky Hatton. Maybe Manny should do that and end MMA’s long national nightmare with this pseudo tough guy. Slice only KOs are those on Youtube where derelicts get flattened in back alleys in Miami.
(AP Photo)
Kanye West’s career appears to be sliding down the toilet. Mr. Bad Manners ruined the Video Music Awards with drunken rudness and just canceled a tour. Manny Pacquiao could put Kanye in his entourage and clean him up if only he was asked.
Like I said, it’s a slow day on the Manny Pacquiao beat…
Which reminds me of the rookie sportswriter from Salt Lake City who was sent to cover the Indy 500. His editor demanded he find a local angle, something of interest to readers in Utah.
Tragedy marred the race as a driver and his car went up in flames and spectators at the Brickyard in Indianapolis were also killed or hurt.
The plucky scribe wrote:
“Tragedy marred the Indianpolis 500 on Sunday as Joe Blow’s car caught on fire, went flying into the grandstand and two spectators were killed while 12 were taken to hospitals with serious injuries.
None of those killed or injured were from Utah.”
