Boxing’s 12 Most Ridiculous Myths, Notions and Perverted Ideas:
1. Masses of people will spend $50 for a PPV boxing event because you put Rocky Juarez, who has failed in 98 title shots, on the undercard.
2. The same public, of which 98 percent either buy or reject a PPV TV buy based solely on the pull of the main event, demanded a Juan Manuel Marquez-Floyd Mayweather bout. As a redfaced fool of a Congressman (not much longer) screamed at President Obama, “You lie!”
3. That newspaper boxing coverage even matters anymore. It matters about as much as Rocky Juarez does in the big scheme of things. People under the age of Bob Arum, which is closing in on 78, get their fistic info from the Internet.
4. That Chris Arreola, in the words of his trainer, “is turning the corner” as he is about to share a Los Angeles ring against creaking but still dangerous Vitali Klitschko. Turning the corner to where exactly, Pedro’s Chimichanga Express, to load up on more fattening Mexican food? When you see Arreola take off his robe, you tell me what chance he has to beat VK. This will be like Our Lady Of Presentation elementary school playing the Lakers. (Having said that, I am making special prayers to Our Lady Of Guadalupe for Arreola’s victory.)
5. That Manny Pacquiao only speaks pidgin English. I’ve been disabused of that notion, hearing his ESL skills which includes words such as “poison and toxic.” I’m not saying Manny is quite ready to verbally spar with Jay Leno but he’s getting there.
6. That all those PPV TV advertiser/sponsor rebates are offered because those companies have some affection for boxing fans. They do so because the economy is in the dumps. Anyone recall any advertiser rebates for PPV when Mike Tyson was on a roll after getting out of that Indiana prison? They didn’t offer rebates even for the windless Hurricane Peter McNeeley.
7. That all the Pinoy fans are merely caught up in Pacmania and will abandon boxeo when Megamanny retires. Firm support for Nonito Donaire and Marvin Sonsona says otherwise. I admit to changing my thinking on this.
8. That Floyd Mayweather Jr. doesn’t have it in his ring DNA to attack Juan Ma like a hungry wolf pursuing fresh meat. In terms of positioning and marketing himself for future negotiations, PBF does not have the luxury to fight Marquez in the same laissez faire manner he did in “the Businessman’s Special” against de la Hoya. (An early or mid-round stoppage of JMM would impress, no?) More later but Mayweather may flatten Midget Marquez like a Hummer crushing a Mini Cooper.
9. That boxing has to act or react every time UFC honcho Dana White flaps his loose lips. MMA is not going to put boxing in the casket and boxing is not going to crimp the MMA market. The audiences are, in the main, completely different. Boxing doesn’t need the white skinhead crowd (that’s a joke, White Man, relax).
10. That your White Gorilla is either too humorous or not funny enough in some of his essays herein. Nay, nay, my finely honed lampooning is similar to the porridge consumed by Goldilocks and the Three Bears…not to cold, not to hot and just right. (He wrote so modestly.)
11. My main man Richie Rich Schaefer says there is too much negativity injected into our sport/business by many, including promoters and media types. I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m redoubling my efforts to look on the sunny side even when it’s Juan Ma in Urinetown. Remove all the hate, vitriol and sarcasm from boxing and what would be have, tiddlywinks? If RR wants to see something vicious he should get into competitive sabong.
12. Did you know that all good promoters go to heaven? Heaven, for them is a place where there are no disloyal, backstabbing fighters. And that’s no myth.
