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NEW NICKNAMES UNDER CONSIDERATION FOR THE HEMORRHAGING JUAN MANUEL MARQUEZ-FLOYD MAYWEATHER PROMOTION AT THE MGM GRAND IN LAS VEGAS:
1. FIRE SALE
2. CASH COW RUNS OUT OF MILK
3. UDDER DISASTER FOR CASH COW
4. PIZZERIA UNO–THEY’RE PAYING FOR THEIR NAME AS OUR TITLE
5. BOXING FANS DON’T CARE, LET’S TRY THE WRESTLING CROWD
6. FLOYD-JUAN, PAY PER FEW
7. NO CASH FOR CLUNKERS?
8. AS POPULAR AS SWINE FLU
9. NO PINOYS, NO PUERTO RICANS, BIG PROBLEMS
10. WHOSE STUPID IDEA WAS THIS CONTRIVED MATCH ANYWAY?
11. WRITE IN YOUR SUGGESTION HERE
12. PUBLIC OPTION, THEY’VE OPTED OUT OF BUYING THIS JUNK
13. PRESS YOUR PANTS, WE’RE SO DESPERATE WE MAY GIVE MICHAEL MARLEY A CREDENTIAL
14. OUR DATE IS A MEXICAN HOLIDAY, FOR MEXICANS WHO WANT TO GET AWAY FROM BOXING
15. BLAME IT ON THE WHITE MAN, UFC 103 SAME NIGHT PER DANA WHITE
16. BHOP STANDS FOR BELLHOP, HE’LL TOTE LUGGAGE TO YOUR ROOM (No Tipping Please)
17. FREE LV AIRPORT TO MGM LIMO RIDE, SAY HELLO TO PERKY DRIVER OSCAR DE LA HOYA (Gratuities accepted, wire to secret UBS account, Zurich, pronto)
18. ENJOY THE MGM POOL FRESHLY FILLED WITH ICE COLD TECATE
19. OF COURSE, THE LIMES ARE FREE OF CHARGE
20. THIS IS TO BIG FIGHTS WHAT THE TITANIC WAS TO OCEANLINERS (subtitle: THE SHIP BE SINKIN’)
21. FREE TEQUILA FOR ALL NON DRIVERS BEFORE, DURING, AFTER THE SHOW, YOUR PROMOTERS ARE TESTING IT AS YOU READ THIS
(Advisory for all persnickety types, this is what is commonly known as satire, humor, lampoon. It should be taken as seriously as that lampshade on the author’s head)
