Quick, name the greatest living Asian athlete.
If you said Bruce Lee, you need more than a wakeup call, my brother.
The key word is living.
I don?t know how much of this essay you will be able to stomach but, for today, I am calling it a two man tie.
One one Asian hand we have ring superstar and Pinoy Idol Manny Pacquiao. But he is not the only Asian jock who is truly on a roll.
My second nominee is the Jawbreaker from Japan, the holder of the prestigious Yellow Belt, the little guy with the starving lumberjack appetite, Takeru Kobayashi.
Let writer Eric Pangilinan, writing on Boxingconfidential, draw the parallel here:
?Now I started this article by describing Pacquiao?s likeness to Mr. Takeru Kobayashi and so I guess it is only fitting that I sum it all up and end it in the same manner. As Floyd Mayweather Jr. continues to make his mark by carefully following a diet of smaller and safer opponents like a Jenny Craig customer carefully counting calories and points, Pacquiao will continue building upon his legacy by biting off more than he can chew, swallowing opponents whole and leaving them behind to feast on his next big meal. Let?s give credit where credit is due and leave the P4P title with the guy who is a glutton for the big dogs, not the guy who devours side salads and Oscar Manuel Wieners.?
Pangilian, I admit, is my inspiration for this subject. He also points out that, frankly speaking, both the marvelous masticator from the Land of the Rising Sun and the National Fist of RPI began their American ascent to superstardom in their respective field in the same year, 2001.
That?s when Kobayashi showed he could cut the mustard by wolfing down 50 Nathan?s hot dogs in amazing 12 minutes.
Pacman meanwhile was gobbling up South African toughie Lehonolo Ledwaba on the HBO TV screen in a fight which was, irony or ironies, scheduled for 12 rounds.
Ok, you golf nuts among which I number my happy hacker self, I left El Tigre, Mr. Woods, out as he is only half Asian or, to be more ethnically precise, 50 percent Thai.
As far as China?s massive Yao Ming, great hoopster, yes. But I don?t see his fingers filled with NBA title rings, do you?
Cutting to the chase, or should I say the gullet, what are the characteristics that make Pacquiao and Kobayashi so great, so superior to their competitors.
I thought you would never ask:
1. They both relish top notch competition.
2. They eschew condiments and appetizers, preferring to go right to the entr?e.
3. Kobayashi never says hold the mayo while Pacman wonders what is holding back Mayoweather.
4. Kobayashi?s stunning victories have made it clear he?s outgrown the prestigious Mustard Yellow Belt emblematic of being the July 4th hot dog king of Coney Island. Similarly, Pacman has outgrown just being master of the junior welterweights as even Fraudweather concedes most thinking people regard Manny as the Ultimate Fighter of all divisions.
5. Anyone with the temerity to challenge Konayashi at the groaning board is in a pickle. Ditto for any fistic fool who dares challenge Pacman with his primitive skills.
6. Neither Pacquiao nor Kobayashi will be defeated. Neither will lose his respective throne until such time as he desserts his sport.
7. Clever Kobayashi often wets his buns so they go down easier. Pacman opponents such as Ricky Hatton may have wet their buns to go down easier.
OK, I realize this been no picnic for you guys. Get out of here because I am all out of puns not to mention all out of buns.
One thing about me, I never dog it with these columns.
That’s the way it is in Marleyland, feast or famine.
I’ll take my Mayoweather grilled, GenSan style.
