It would take the patience of a living saint to handle the stalled in mud careers of a trio of talented fighters in the lightweight-junior welterweight sphere.
There are the lowest caste, the ?untouchables? of the 135 and 140 pounders and despite their undeniable skill sets, they can?t even get arrested in terms of lucrative fights.
I say it would take a living saint because, although he was elevated to sainthood last July, Hawaii?s pride, Fr. Damien, no longer walks the tropical grounds of Molokai assisting the lepers.
For 12 years, the Belgian born Godsend did such estimable work before succumbing himself to the dreaded disease.
Today?s Lightweight Lepers are known by the names Joan Guzman, Nate Campbell and Edwin Valero and what they have in common is that no one, I mean no one in their weight categories, is queuing up to fight them.
Valero, the colorful, wild puncher out of Venezuela, and Guzman, the stylish hit and run boxer from the Dominican Republic, are undefeated.
Valero has scored all of his victories by way of KO but the naysayers claim all the victims were tuk tuk drivers or others masquerading as professional boxers.
It must be noted as it is fact that Guzman hurt himself by not making weight to fight Soupy when the man had three world title belts around his waist.
Then Soupy went and dinged himself by failing to make weight for Ali Funeka although he persisted in fighting and won the bout.
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But isn?t there a Pacquiao Solution for these poor souls?
Well, one, two or all three could fight the First International Bank of Pacquiao, you say, because Megamanny fears no man and doesn?t mind enriching opponents willing to give him a righteous scrap.
Ah, but here commercial and, in Valero?s checkered case, medical concerns come into play dimming the Three Lepers chances of ever getting anything more than a handshake or an autograph from the Pinoy Idol.
None of the three has any solid fan base and Guzman and Valero don?t have any wealthy homeland TV backers in their corner. They are so far out of Pacman?s orbit now that the Three Lepers might as well be in another solar system.
Theirs is the Planet of the Unloved and the Lost Pugilists, a dank and dreary place where no worthwhile purses can be found. Are they marooned there, forever to languish and remain mired in relative poverty and obscurity?
It?s not easy to be upbeat about the return to the mainstream universe, to the boxing world where Pacman rules uber alles flying high above the 135-140 and even the 147-pound radar systems.
I?ve written it before and I will say it again as it remains valid. I can?t see any one, two or all three of these guys breaking out of their slump without one of them fighting another.
It would be brilliant if, let?s say, Guzman fought Valero and then the survivor fought Soupy Campbell but that is never going to happen.
Valero begins to belch when Guzman’s name is mentioned in his presence. And Campbell claims he will never give Guzman a second chance even though HBO just gave him a second chance against Funeka.
If misery loves company, these guys should be roommates.
I say there’s something off kilter in a world in which Mexico’s Humberto Soto, loser of eight or nine out of 12 rounds against Guzman, is a world champion and Guzman is hitting the speed bag every day for lack of opposition. I say the same about no one stepping up to match skills with Valero and Soup To Nuts Campy as well.
Recent actions underline the sorry status of these unwashed characters:
Guzman is offered a fight against full-fledged welterweight Zab Judah for peanuts and rightly turns it down.
Guzman then accepts a fight against unbeaten, 140 pound champ Timothy Bradley but the WBO puts the kibosh on the match.
Valero turns down a small scale, PPV slot because he?s said to demand a $200,000 purse which Uncle Bob Arum is not delivering to a guy who can only fight in Texas, Mexico or other places south of Juarez.
This is due to concerns over a long ago brain injury and it?s a reason why Valero may never fight in Las Vegas.
Campbell turns down?well, I guess he turns down nothing because he is mired in a contract dispute with that pesky promoter, Don King. Campbell?s agent, the Herve Villechaize lookalike Terry Trekas, claims Soupy will soon alight and be reborn as one of Oscar?s Golden Boys but King disputes that.
The slick boxer, the savage puncher, the boxer who can whack a little?tick is going tock, the clock just won?t stop.
At least, Valero (27) has youth on his side. But Guzman is age 32 and Soupy is a doddering 37.
Not every fighter ages as miraculously as Bernard Hopkins, the Ponce de Leon of the sport. He’s 44 going on 34.
The Lepers of Molokai had a saint land in their wretched midst, back when Hawaii was called the Sandwich Islands by white men.
Campbell, Guzman and Valero are the modern day Lepers.
They better start touching each other if they want to change their miserable situations.
I don?t see a Fr. Damien out there in the fistic jungles, do you?
Who will touch the Untouchables?
(In the background, you can hear the sad strains of my favorite country western tune, “I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.”)
Michael is a former sports columnist at the New York Post. He was a criminal defense attorney and worked for sports legends Howard Cosell and Don King. Marley also operates BoxingConfidential.com. Email him your thoughts. He makes it a practice to always recommend Pacland, Philboxing and feisty upstart Pacfanscorner.
