I am seriously thinking of running a major contest on Examiner.com and on Boxingconfidential.
Are you ready?
Here?s the question for which, if you provide a snappy and correct answer, you can win valuable and totally swell prizes.
How many breadsticks can fit in this sensational hat (not Hat-ton) that Manny Pacquiao wore on his last trip to check out the political waters in the province of Sarangani?
I hope Bob Arum does not know that Manny has a side job at some Benihana restaruant.
That is so, so wok and roll.
I mean I have not seen headwear like that since Arafat died. (I must get one so I can cut it up and fit it on my Pacman Bobblehead.)
But let?s get down with this political situation because it looks like Megamanny, KO?d fairly easily in General Santos City by Dazzling Darlene Antonio-Custodio in his prior electoral venture, is definitely running for Congress from Sarangani next year.
I pity his poor opponent, the incumbent, who has about as much chance as Ricky Hatton did on Saturday night.
I mean, talk about ?positive name recognition? and rating high in the polls. Pacman?s popularity I am sure probably doubles or triples that of his Malacanang Palace benefactor, President Arroyo.
Many fighters want to fight at Caesars Palace but Pacquiao wants to fight out of Malacanang Palace.
If he could get Imelda Marcos to endorse him, I would have to rate Manny a real ?shoe-in.? One thing about Imelda, few women have ever rocked the patent leather party pumps like she did when she and Ferdie were ruling the Pinoy roost.
Not to mention that there was never any hint of corruption when the Marcos clan were the boss hogs, and the key word is hogs. No hints just plenty of graft and dishonesty. Oh, what the heck. No one would want to be a dictator if you couldn?t get money and gifts over the table, under the table, around the table and even take the whole table right.
Pimps, prostitutes, televangelistsfight promoters and politicians.
Riddle me this, Pacfans, do you know the difference between any of the five above listed vocations?
Me neither
Anyway, I interrupt this diatribe to note with shock if not awe that some Pinoy pols think Pacman should keep his fast hands in his own bulging pockets.
They don?t like the Idol coming onto their turf.
They think their mouths are faster than Manny?s mitts and they could be right.
Remember, Coach Roach can?t work Pacman?s political corner until the time he officially changes his legal residence to (Me, I am moving to the Cebu waterfront area, I?ve got a great job lined up as a lifeguard at an area car wash. My career as a caddy at a Cape Cod miniature golf course has been ruined by the perpetual rain.)
I look to Philstar for my political guidance and I see the pols beseeching Da Pacman to reconsider his plans outside the prize ring.
Say what you want about their veracity, their honesty, their integrity, but I now know that Filipino politicians may not have his hairdo but they can talk just as rough and tough as embattled Illinois ex-governor ?Blago.?
?Pacquiao is a strong boxer but we don?t know if he is strong in politics, he might get knocked out there,? Cabinet Secretary Silvestre Bello III said..
?He declined to comment on the petition of Pacquiao with the Commission on Elections (Comelec) to form a new political party.
?A boxing fight is very different from a political fight,? Bello said. ?Sometimes in a political fight, the better candidate is not the winner. The more qualified sometimes loses the fight, unlike in boxing where the good boxer is the one who comes out victorious,? he said.
Bello said Pacquiao may be considered an international boxing legend but in politics he is a ?greenhorn.?
?I would like him to remain a legend and the people should hate the day they see him knocked out,? he said.
Greenhorn, eh? I hope Manny won?t take this lying down like Mr. Hatton did.
More from Philstar:
?Senators are more open in their stand against Pacquiao?s entering the political arena.
Senators Francis Escudero, Manuel Roxas II, and Panfilo Lacson said they respect Pacquiao?s decision but are worried of its possible consequences.
?Everyone, including people?s champ Manny Pacquiao, has the right to enter the world of politics, as long as they are not disqualified by law,? Escudero said.
?If he eventually decides to run again, he is free to do so and I would greatly respect his decision. However, I cannot blame those who would rather that Manny stay in the field of sports, where he has become living proof that the Filipino can conquer the world,? Escudero said.
?No matter what your beliefs are, what political spectrum you belong to, or what church you go to, we are all inspired by Manny,? Escudero said.
Roxas said he is convinced Pacquiao is a good sportsman and ?God-fearing? but is ?unqualified? because of his young age.
Lacson also said Pacquiao should stick to boxing where he has considerably excelled and gained goodwill.
?Of course it?s his choice but he has already carved his name in Philippine history. He?s now a legend,? he said.
?I think he should stick to what he has been known for, in sports,? he added.?
Some people might call my lifting from Philstar stealing but I call it heavy research.
I do agree on one thing, though. Some of these pols make sense.
There?s no Coach Roach and no referee.
Boxing may seem like a pristine mountain stream once Pacman submerges himself in the rancid sewer of hack politicians and their lot.
Protect yourself at all times, Manny, because some of these people will stab you in the front and the back.
You may wind up concluding that Floyd Mayweather Jr. is like a day at the beach in Sarangani compared to contending with this troupe of gypsies, tramps and thieves.
I guess your mind is made up, Manny. I am not eligible to vote in Sarangani but I will do this, you can borrow my O’Jays Greatest Hits CD for your campaign song.
Yes, you got it…”they smile in your face, the Back Stabbers.”
Don’t let them carve you up, Manny, or you will look like a real Benihana chef went to work on you with his amazing Ginsu knives.
I’ve got be honest with you Pacman, some politicians are as crooked as the day is long….in Scandinavia in mid-July, where it does not turn dark until midnight.
Body shots, Pacman, body shots.
(Michael Marley has no opinion and no vote regarding any of the above mentioned pols except for Honest Man Pacquiao.)
Michael is a former sports columnist at the New York Post. He was a criminal defense attorney and worked for sports legends Howard Cosell and Don King. Marley also operates BoxingConfidential.com. Email him your thoughts.
