I?ve got a Golden idea for that little press conference coming up in downtown Los Angeles April 14.
Oscar De La Hoya has set aside that date to inform the waiting (ho hum, shake me, wake me when it?s over) boxing world whether the pasting he took from Manny Pacquiao has knocked him into ring retirement.
I?ve often called Oscar the President of boxing and, just like President Clinton, he?s had his embarrassing peccadilloes On the serious tip, ODLH has given a lot to boxing and taken a lot of money, prestige and influence in return.
De La Hoya is what Ray Leonard used to call a ?punched ticket? when it comes to fighting at the top level. Given his wealth and the fact that Golden Boy Promotions is thriving in a field where its toughest competitor will soon turn age 80 (Bob Arum of Top Rank), what?s the point in Oscar having a farewell fight? He had one already, the LA Homecoming bout against limited Stevie Forbes and he took his lumps in winning that one.
Fighting GBP colleague Sugar Shane Mosley would be a suicide mission. The only viable and fairly ?safe? match remaining for diminished Oscar would be against the Julio Cesar Chavez Jr., who has been protected by Arum the way the Secret Service guards Obama. But Oscar is, I think, too smart to risk alienating Mexican sensibilities by taking that cynical match. Oh, and by the way, he could even lose to Junior.
So it sounds like the April 14 announcement is no showstopper.
It sounds like most serious fight aficionados will either say vaya con Dios, Oscar, or hey, pal, don?t let the door hit you where the dog should have bit you.
But I?ve got a brilliant (if I do say so myself) and novel idea. Make it a double retirement presser. Oscar should convince another of his many VPs, 44-year-old Bernard Hopkins, to pack it in as an active boxer as well.
How?s that for a two-fer? That?s right, a tag team retirement deal.
Maybe someone could slip some sodium pentathol (truth serum) in Ole Popkins coffee.
He had a chat with Chris Mannix at Sports Illustrated and blamed the blowup of negotiations on a July 11 HBO bout against popular Pole Tomasz Adamek on the cruiserweight champion?s promoter, Kathy Duva. She properly rejected a flat fee of a half million dollars for her side.
Now BHop is spouting some jive about how ?the Mexicans don?t know him.? And, he said, Adamek should?ve jumped at the chance to fight a legend such as himself.
Poppycock and balderdash, Bernie, and you know it. The 10,000 who would park their posteriors in paid seats in downtown Newark would be Adamek?s Polish Army, not Latinos of any stripe. The gate magnet, the ticket seller, is Adamek so why should KD and company accept a mere bag of shells?
Bernie finally stopped howling at the Welsh moon, baying in hopes of luring Joe Calzaghe back to the ring. His Calzaghe calling bordered on the pathetic, by the bye.
If he was serious about being a serious fighting force, he would be getting ready to make some noise about fighting young crusher Paul Williams at 160 pounds after PWill throttles Turtle Shell Winky Wright (Pwill will, won?t he?) this Saturday night.
Hopsack also turned up his nose at a $4 million offer to fight super middleweight ruler Mikkel Kessler. I guess he saw that Kessler was more successful against Calzaghe that he was.
Hopkins seems to know his ring future is in the past.
Hopkins prefers to reminisce about how he fooled and schooled Kelly Pavlik and gloss over how Calzaghe won going away after their first round.
Personally, I?d say hail and farewell to both Oscar and Bernie. Oscar and Bernie, it sounds like two Jewish guys who play poker every Wenesday night, doesn?t it?
As the late New York club fighter Izzy Grove was wont to say every seven minutes, ?Yesterday?s cheers have a short echo, my friends.?
You?re both multijillionaires, O and B. You?ve heard the cheers and the jeers.
Sign out together on April 14 because boxing will be the better for it. Devote yourself to promotional business and your other sidelines. BHop can probably become a Class A fight commentator with a little work behind the mike.
Neither of you have deaf ears. You can hear the cry of the public. It?s past time to let New Blood?kids like Williams, Golden Boy?s new Golden Boy Victor Ortiz, Mexican mauler Alfredo Angulo and GBP?s slugger James Kirkland?have the spotlight.
Let Prime Time Players Manny Pacquiao, Juan Manuel Marquez and Edwin Valero shine without your bouts, such as they are, being a distraction.
As of today, Packy is the new prez, the Obama of boxing. Floyd Mayweather is coming back to dispute that. Let these cats have the big stage all to themselves. They deserve no less.
Pass the torch, Oskie and Weakened At Bernie?s. Your lamps are flickering.
Maybe Oskie can teach Bernie how to play golf in their ample spare time. Or maybe you two can enjoy the all you can eat section at Dodger Stadium now that weight won’t be a concern.
Got the picture, gentlemen? We thank you for your service.
Two key words for you both.
Go away.
(Michael Marley retired after about 20 amateur and collegiate bouts due to hand injuries. Refs kept stepping on them. One guy called him ?Kid Candle? because it was one blow and he was out. Float like a butterfly, sting like a moth was Marley?s motto. He once was paid $5 to fight in the Lowell, Mass., Golden Gloves. He also once had a black trainer whose name was Pinky, I kid you not. For other Hemingway style boxing writing–cough, cough–try Marley’s boxing site, Boxingconfidential.
