Glance at your favorite tabloid. Listen to the news on the radio. Flip the TV dial. It doesn?t take long to latch on to another story that proves Armageddon is fast approaching.
The world is not going insane. It?s already there and let me give you a few headline examples:
RAY CHARLES? KIDS SUE HIS MANAGER, SAY HE ROBBED SINGER BLIND!
HIS SUPPORTERS ARE 100 PERCENT WHITE YET JOHN MCCAIN GIVES SPEECH AT PETTUS BRIDGE, SITE OF 1965 SELMA CIVIL RIGHTS BLOODBATH; ZERO BLACK PEOPLE SHOW UP!
CONSTANT CRITIC MICHAEL MARLEY HAS WORDS OF PRAISE FOR BITCHY LOSER BERNARD HOPKINS!
Oops, that last one could come from this column because, after all the bad things I said and wrote about Hopscotch, I do want to compliment him on one thing.
The man knows how to wear the black hat. He knows how to play the villain role.
That?s something that boxing is missing now. The only guy that readily comes to mind in playing the man they love to hate role is Floyd Mayweather Jr. He is probably having Mayweather Loves Puerto Rico hats and teeshirts made even as you read this.
Look at Oscar de la Hoya-Stevie Forbes. It’s David against Goliath but people love this Goliath. There’s no villain in the May 3 bout in Los Angeles and remember you can watch it on that “free HBO” that you pay for every month on your cable bill.
By far the chilling black villain in boxing now is Pretty Daddy, Floyd Sr. He has the kind of sassy style to alienate anyone anywhere. But a trainer villain is not a star attraction bad guy. No one ever bought a ticket to see Mayweather Sr. with a white towel over his shoulder.
Now, I hate to be a racialist like some of the cretins named Doug and Vince who infest our comment board (btw, we will soon eliminate such vitriol with a sign in system so we know each and every poster?s ISP), but where are the Caucasians who will play the outlaw in a fight promotion?
Ricky Hatton, forget it. Too popular. Kelly Pavlik, no way. He?s not, except for the occasional bar brawl, naughty by nature and he?s got the underdog from the underdog city thing working for him. Mikkel Kessler? No, he?s a Viking warrior but his movie star looks prevent him from being the rape and pillage type invader. When mothers see Kessler around, they don?t lock their daughters up, they turn them loose. And some of those mothers are ?cougars? on the hunt for themselves.
We need to find a white fighter like Greg Haugen who could play the baddie as Vinnie Pazienza played the goodie. But I don?t see any, do you?
So much for the black guys and the pale guys but what about the Latinos? You?d have to say Ricardo Mayorga has been perfect as a no goodnik but lately he?s been making fans out of people who used to loathe him. Mayorga has made the image transition from Hated Loudmouth to Colorful Character.
So cross him off the loathsome list as well.
Antonio Margarito has potential as a the black-clad gunslinger who rides into town with murder on his mind.
Looking to Asia, Manny has to be Manny, whether it?s baseball?s Ramirez or boxing?s Pacquiao. And Pacman is a national idol much more so than Hatton is. Ricky is more of a Greater Manchester idol but he is well-regarded all across England.
Pacquiao even gets more and more love from Mexico.
You can?t be the evildoer when the president of your country fawns all over you and labels you the ?National Fist.? I know Manny is a good and loyal soldier but Central Casting is need of a maverick, a French Foreign Legion type who cares only about himself. We need a Bogart who says “I stick my neck out for nbody” and means it.
Which reminds me that it?s going up to 78 degrees on Cape Cod Wednesday. The golf clubs are coming out of the White Gorilla?s closet. Area birds consider yourself warned.
I had one other villainous suspect. His name is Antonio Tarver. Maybe he changes his nickname to ?Black Magic? Tarver.
Two problems for Tarver in filling the dirtbag role. One, no one takes him that seriously as a fighter any longer.
Two, he?s a certified hacker. I just saw an item about his charity golf tournament. You can?t really despise a golfer and certainly not one who puts on a charity tournament.
I only take one mulligan per nine holes. Honest. I bet Tarver takes nine per nine holes.
Wait a minute. I think we?ve found our villain. You know what they say, Antonio, take all the mulligans you want but remember?
You?re only cheating yourself.
