For a celebratory parade to honor the new champ, Merchant suggested they use ?shredded warrants of arrest for confetti??
What kind of man harbors a grudge against a man who did nothing to him, and who?s been dead for almost 45 years? I?d say that person is a pathetic excuse for a man who never conquered his childhood insecurities.
Many years ago, a funny looking kid named Larry Merchant was born into a world that scared him to death. Short in stature and soft in form, the only remarkable thing about him was the size of his head. It was much too big for his body and there never was a day when a boy or girl didn?t laugh at him. He cried a lot, because, after all, there was nothing he could do about his physical deformity or his small stature. Everyone knew him as Little Larry.
There wasn?t much to like about Little Larry. Life was unfair to him and he vowed that someday?SOMEDAY?he would be the one to dish out the abuse. He would be proud of his Napoleon Complex. Even prouder than Napoleon himself!
Little Larry?s brain wasn?t as big as his oversized head might suggest, but he was smart enough to succeed academically in high school and college. He even played some sports. Unfortunately, the girls never stopped laughing at him, nor would they ever see him as anything more than a pompous, insecure, vindictive guy with a large head that always made them laugh. Occasionally, a girl would feel sorry for him but only because her head was almost as big as his.
Little Larry decided that sports journalism would provide him with the weapon he needed to pay the world back for the way it treated him. After all, sportswriters get to editorialize about people and things without having to justify their opinions. Creating controversy is what gets sportswriters the notoriety they crave but it doesn?t get them the respect of their peers or the athletes they cover.
Sportswriters can insult others all they want, in much the same way that conservative talk show hosts do. Say something, repeat it often enough, and people, especially the ones who choose not to think for themselves, accept it as fact.
So, Little Larry decided to attack the athletes he covered. And the bigger they were, the better! That would show all of those kids that there was a lot more to Little Larry Merchant than just a disagreeable kid with a big head. And it would show the athletes of the world that no matter how highly skilled or tough they were, they were no match him. The pen is mightier than the sword! And Little Larry felt his pen was even a lot bigger than his head.
Little Larry was writing for a Philadelphia newspaper when Charles ?Sonny? Liston moved to the City of Brotherly Love. There had never been anybody tougher than Liston and Little Larry knew it. Sonny had served two jail sentences and the mob had their hooks into him. Of course, the mob had their hooks into most other big-name fighters and Sonny couldn?t get rid of the mob any more than Little Larry could get rid of his big head.
Their first meeting was a disaster. Liston looked right through Merchant and knew instantly that he was a weak, spiteful, and generally poor excuse for a man. Liston was good at sizing up people and he had Merchant?s number. Little Larry left Sonny?s gym so scared that he immediately developed an abiding, lifelong hatred for this big, black man. If Sonny Liston had actually taken a step in Little Larry?s direction, he may have soiled himself. From that day forth, Little Larry Merchant made Sonny Liston his own imaginary punching bag. Little Larry couldn?t actually move the bag, but punching bags don?t punch back.
For the first time in his life, Merchant?s peers looked upon him with a modicum of respect. They saw that the guy with the big head was ?taking on? the toughest man on the planet. The fact that most of the city?s sportswriters were also opinionated cowards didn?t diminish the feeling of self-worth that Little Larry experienced. It coursed through his veins like a sort of life-giving elixir. He was ready to take on The Bear. Well, almost.
When Liston came to Merchant?s newspaper to confront the writer about a particularly insulting article, Little Larry ran out the rear exit as fast as his little legs would carry him. He lacked the courage to defend his opinions and statements in person so he took the coward?s way out. And, make no mistake about it, Little Larry Merchant has always been a big coward.
Sonny Liston lived in Philadelphia when he beat Floyd Patterson for the heavyweight championship of the world. For some reason, Merchant was beside himself with grief and anger. ?So it is true,? wrote Little Larry, ?in a fair fight between good and evil, evil must win.? For a celebratory parade to honor the new champ, he suggested they use ?shredded warrants of arrest for confetti.?
Years after Liston was murdered, Merchant was more venomous than ever in describing the man who was universally loved by children. ?Let?s be clear on one thing that cannot be up for debate,? insisted Little Larry. ?He was the meanest, rudest, bullying, most unpleasant prick I have ever been around.? Some kids never get over the fears they faced as a child and Merchant is certainly one of them. Come to think about it, when Merchant first met Sonny Liston in person, maybe Little Larry soiled himself after all.
Little Larry simply will not let Sonny Liston rest in peace. More than 44 years after Liston?s passing, the little guy with the big head is still at it. A long article in the New Yorker on the Mayweather/Pacquiao bout devoted 71 words to the mystery of the second Ali-Liston fight in Lewiston, Maine. Predictably, Little Larry took the opportunity to give his personal opinion of what happened in that fight in a letter to the editor. Remarkably, the New Yorker printed it.
Back on May 25, 1965, Joe Louis compared Ali?s ?knockout punch? to ?throwing cornflakes at a battleship,? but, hey, what did the heck did the Brown Bomber know about punching? Little Larry knows with certainty that Sonny Liston didn?t throw that fight.
Little Larry Merchant doesn?t know squat. He is an embarrassment to the boxing press and he always has been. Just ask Floyd Mayweather about it. He?ll probably say I?ve been much too kind to the pathetic little old guy with the big head. If I ever meet Little Larry in person, that won?t be the case.
Paul Gallender is the author of Sonny Liston?The Real Story Behind the Ali-Liston Fights. He is currently working on a sequel.
