Suing the state is like suing God. It?s a fool?s errand in the best of times, Sisyphean in the worst of times?
?Let it come down.??William Shakespeare?s Macbeth (Act 3, Scene 3)
All lawsuits are not created equal.
There was the case of Stella Liebeck, who in 1992 sued McDonald?s after spilling hot coffee on her legs. She was awarded $200,000 in compensatory damages, which was reduced to $160,000 because she was found to be twenty percent liable. But she received an additional $2.7 million in punitive damages. Some like it hot, but not too hot.
In another case, also in 1992, Karen Norman, a drunken 23-year-old, backed her car into Galveston Bay and drowned. Her parents sued Honda for making a seat belt their soused daughter couldn?t open underwater. The family was initially awarded $65 million, which was reduced to zero on appeal.
In 2003 Stephen Joseph, a health-conscious gentleman in San Francisco, sued Kraft Foods for having the nerve to put trans-fat in their Oreo cookies. What did he expect? Granola and soy milk, with the soundtrack from Woodstock playing in the background?
The so-called Wendy?s Finger Chili Case made news in 2005. Anna Ayala claimed she found a severed finger in her chili, which caused Wendy?s to lose face and millions of dollars. But it was a hoax. The finger, though, was real, her husband had borrowed it from a friend who lost it in a workplace accident, and they were both charged with grand theft.
In 2003, Richard Schick sued the Illinois Department of Public Aid, his former employer, to the tune of $5 million for sexual and disability discrimination. Shick was allegedly so agitated by the lawsuit that he robbed a convenience store with a shotgun. A civil court awarded him $303,830. That?s the good news. The bad news is a criminal court slapped him with a 10-year sentence for armed robbery.
Richard Overton sued Anheuser-Busch in 1991 for $10,000. He claimed false advertising caused him to suffer emotional distress, as well as mental and physical injury. TV ads promised that if he drank Bud Light, Overton could join ?beautiful women and men engaged in endless and unrestricted merriment.? Oddly enough, ?beautiful women and men? held him in the same contempt as when he was sober. The case was thrown out of court.
Judge Roy Pearson wanted to make a statement. In 2007 he sued his drycleaner for $67 million for losing a pair of pants. Representing himself during the trial, Pearson testified that he was distraught at having lost his favorite trousers. When the drycleaner returned the pants to the plaintiff in the courtroom, Judge Pearson insisted they weren?t his.
Those who think this is strictly an American phenomenon need to think again. When Jian Feng and his wife had an ugly baby, he wanted to know why. His beautiful wife confessed that she had plastic surgery before they met. Feng filed for divorce and sued his former spouse for marrying him under false pretenses. He walked away with a cool $120,000 in damages.
Not to be outdone, Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers sued God in 2007, ordering Him to cease and desist from ?harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.? Higher office may await Sen. Chambers. A higher calling, however, seems unlikely.
From the less than sublime to the more than ridiculous, Robert Lee Brock, an inmate in Virginia?s penal system, sued himself in 1995. He insisted his religious beliefs and civil rights were violated when he decided to get drunk and commit crimes. He wanted $5 million from the defendant. Instead, he was laughed out of court and led back to his cell.
Speaking of laughter, in 1996 a physical therapist named Paul Shimkonis sued a topless bar claiming he received whiplash from a lap dancer?s breasts. Shimkonis allegedly suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he said felt like ?cement blocks? when they hit him in the face. He wanted $15,000. Instead, he got what he deserved.
If history is any guide, Bakanay Adusalamova?s $100 million lawsuit against the State of New York and NYSAC on behalf of her husband, 32-year-old Magomed Abdusalamov, will not go far.
Alleging ?carelessness, negligence, medical malpractice and wanton disregard? by allowing Magomed to be ?repeatedly, seriously, unreasonably and violently beaten, bludgeoned, punched and pummeled by his opponent without proper, timely or adequate recognition and/or rescue? seems reasonable on its face.
But reason has nothing to do with it.
Neither does the fact that Abdusalamov ?was further caused, allowed and permitted to sustain life-threatening injuries including but not limited to acute traumatic brain injury, significant and permanent brain damage, coma and multiple comminuted facial fractures due to the improper, untimely and inadequate medical care and treatment.?
The New York State Athletic Commission is investigating itself, which is not unlike Robert Lee Brock suing himself, and blaming the victim will be part of their defense. But suing the state is like suing God, and as the aforementioned Nebraska politician discovered, it?s a fool?s errand in the best of times, Sisyphean in the worst of times.
