Given the quality of this gem, why would I need another, and inevitably lesser, Galento autograph? That?s an easy one?I?m greedy?
?Who is this guy, Queensberry? I don?t see anything wrong in sticking your thumb into a guy?s eye. Just a little.??Tony Galento
I?ve had it more than 20 years, framed and hanging on a wall sandy pink, and it remains one of my most prized possessions. An International News photo from June 24, 1940, of Tony Galento, 1930s heavyweight contender and dirty fighter nonpareil, and Joe Louis, Heavyweight Champion of the World. Galento, a baby grand with that bowling-ball head of his, wearing what appears to be a black wifebeater; Louis, tall, slender, nattily dressed in a checked sports coat. The champ holds Tony?s taped right fist in both hands. His touch is gentle, but sure. He looks at the hand, a jeweler appraising a diamond. Tony, he too looks at his hand. But he doesn?t study it. He?s never studied anything in his life, least of all his own fist. He knows what it is?and what it does.
There?s a slug attached to the photo, brown and faded the way time is brown and faded. The purple characters are all in caps:
?K.O. Artist O.K.?s Galento
?Summit, N.J?Heavyweight champion Joe Louis, right, takes a look at Tony Galento?s powerful right hand at Galento?s Summit, N.J., training camp where the New Jersey barkeeper, whom Louis once flattened, is getting ready for his bout with former heavyweight champ Max Baer, of California. Louis said Galento looked ?very strong.? The winner of the Baer-Galento bout, which will be held at Roosevelt Stadium, Jersey City, N.J., July 2, may get a crack at Louis? crown.?
?Two Ton? Tony had lost to Louis at Yankee Stadium on June 28, 1939, stopped by fourth-round TKO, though he?d left-hooked ?The Brown Bomber? to the canvas in the third. Is that why Joe is looking at Tony?s right hand? Would the left have conjured too unpleasant a memory?
There was to be no second ?crack at Louis? crown,? not with Max Baer retiring Galento in the seventh. Baer, who?d been kayoed by Louis in 1935, didn?t get a second bite at the championship apple either. He instead stopped Pat Comiskey in September 1940 and, in his last fight, in April 1941, was stopped in turn by Lou Nova. Louis faced Al McCoy in December 1940, retiring him in the fifth.
In what would prove to be his last significant fight, Tony took on Max?s brother, Buddy, on April 8, 1941, at the Uline Arena in D.C., where Tony, claiming to have broken his left hand, was stopped by seventh-round TKO.
Worth noting, because Tony writes on the other side of the slug: ?first round I broke my left hand in the Bare [sic] fight.?
The photo itself is boldly inscribed in black ink: ?To My Friend Joe [Louis?] Best Wishes Tony Galento.?
Given the quality of this gem, why would I need another, and inevitably lesser, Galento autograph? That?s an easy one?I?m greedy.
Just such a signed photo??To My Pal Vince Best Wishes Tony Galento??came up at auction recently. Galento in a short-sleeve shirt, pleated pants too high at the waist, looking at the camera, left hand nestled on the shoulder of one Vince Handley, the right shaking Handley?s hand. Well, not so much shaking it?looks more like the guy in The Bank Dick. You know, the bank director who was always offering W.C. Fields his ?hearty handclasp,? fingertips barely and briefly touching the palm.
I wanted it. Somebody else did too. Don?t you hate when that happens? It?s like when you want a girl and some other guy wants the same girl. Why can?t he want a different girl? But no?of all the girls in all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he wants yours.
This guy and I start bidding. He?s on automatic bid. Whatever I do, the system trumps it. I go up to $28.75, but that verkakte automated bidding comes back with $29.75. Who am I, Bill Gates?
But?hark! A message straight from the grave at St. John?s Catholic Cemetery in Orange, New Jersey, where the little that diabetes and the consequent amputations left of him was buried shortly after his death from a heart attack at age 69 on July 22, 1979: You stick a thumb in a guy?s eye. Just a little. Everything in proportion. You know the old saying, ?No foul, no win.?
I mean, Galento never even heard of the Marquis of Queensberry. I?ve heard of him, okay, but?I never met him.
So what do I do? I bring in a ringer, that?s what I do. I go to the Love of My Life, and plight my troth; anyway, I tell her of my plight. She knows her way around a greenback. She also has the finest gams I?ve ever seen on anyone, and that includes pin-ups that I study for boxing-research purposes.
Unfortunately, there was what?s known as ?failure to communicate.? My eye-thumbing scheme was for her to be the high bidder, but she claims (and with no little heat, let me tell you) that that was my role, and that she would reimburse me.
I press the ?Yes dear? button whenever a woman talks to me, with an occasional ?Oh, extremely becoming; that eye shadow really suits you,? assuming as I do that the topic almost invariably involves face paint, perky hats, feather boas, or whatever it is these delightful but mystifying creatures find so endlessly fascinating. That?s clearly what happened in this instance, and I?m now a Galento short.
The item, by the way, sold for $37. Mine is worth several times that. So there.
On the plus side of the ledger, my hotsy-totsy got us tickets for the Gennady Golovkin-Curtis Stevens fight on November 2 at the Garden. So though I didn?t get my sundae, at least there?s the whipped cream.
As for the cherry on top?why, the gams, of course.
