One of WBA welterweight champion Adrien Broner?s infamous home movies is making the rounds. Good taste prevents us from posting it here. But good taste doesn?t prevent from describing the scatological auteur?s latest attempt to shock, amaze and/or disgust.
Many thought the video showing Broner tearing up money and flushing it down the toilet was the last straw. It was illegal, about which much can be made or not. It was also ill-advised, a public relations blunder for those who know a public relations blunder when they trip over one.
But Broner is a special case. He appears to be living proof that ?Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,? and that dictum, an appropriate a word in this context, applies to The Problem, just as it applies to you and me.
The latest and thus far greatest addition to Broner?s burgeoning oeuvre shows him in Popeye?s, that finger lickin? purveyor of rubber chicken deep fried to within an inch of its life, specifically in Popeye?s restroom, where he is taking a crap.
The lighting in the video is slapdash, but tr?s cin?ma v?rit?. There is no soundtrack per se, which is a pity as it might have helped establish mood, but there are enough sound effects to take up the slack. And the star of the video, Adrien Broner himself, is about as comfortable with himself as any man (or any man-child) can be.
Broner looks at the camera and says, ?I?m currently in Popeye?s taking a shit right now. See.?
The camera pans from Broner?s face to his crotch.
?Yeah, I?m in Popeye?s taking a shit right now. I ain?t doing shit, man. I?m on tour, on this America?s Most Wanted Tour with Lil Wayne, T.I., 2Chainz, and a bad cap man. Whew! I can?t break the rules,? he says, not without a touch of irony. ?The rules are you can?t shit on the tour bus. So I just stopped at Popeye?s and took a shit.?
Some of the aforementioned sound effects kick in, as Broner does his minstrel mugging.
?Um, a lot of my folks back home wonder who I?m gonna fight next. I ain?t worrying about that. I?m a rapper,? cackled Broner, before saying, ?I crack myself up. Let me get out of here though.?
The sound of the toilet paper dispenser is heard in the background. It sounds like a steam locomotive.
?They got some fucked up toilet tissue,? says Broner. ?Eh. You gotta be [unintelligible] to wipe your ass. I?m just saying.?
Broner makes a series of noises that bear the faintest resemblance to language. He laughs uproariously. Then, as the coup de gr?ce, he peers into the toilet and says, ?Look at that.? The camera pans to the toilet. Instead of Broner?s turds floating in the bowl, which would surprise no one, it is filled with Broner?s money.
?Can you see that,? he says. ?I?m shitting out money.?
Then he flushes the toilet and snickers like a maniac in a slasher film.
Some believe Broner is smart like a fox. Others think he?s as smart as a rock. Many are waiting for Adrien Broner to grow up, while others have decided that Waiting for Godot will take less time.
