Now, it can be revealed…Floyd Mayweather’s all Hattons, all the time Plan “B.”
I was only sworn to secrecy on this through Dec. 31 so now I can tip all my loyal readers and even you haytas in Mayweatherville, where I hear the population is dwindling father than the troubled city of Detroit to the masterful plan Team Mayweather has laid out whole it continues to spurn a possible $40 million paynight against Manny Pacquiao.
Having already toyed with Ricky Hatton and softening him up so badly that the powder puff punching Pacman was able to dribble him off the canvas for a TKO in under six minutes, Mayweather now plans to invade Old Blighty and take care of the remainder of the Mancunian clan.
“Floyd will fight Matthew Hatton—or Matty Hatty as we call him at the Circus Pub, a tiny and historic watering holein the heart of Manchester—if we can get HBO and Sky Sports to swallow such nasty medicine, a source inflamed by Mayweather’s Plan “B” (for Boring) said.
So what’s next after that glorified sparring session?
“We’re not sure,” the inflamed source said, “but we’re wondering if there are any other Hatton brothers who will challenge the world’s most avoided and talented, not to mention he’s undefeated, fighter.
Ray and Ricky Hatton (AP Photo)
“I mean, it would look bad for Floyd to fight Ricky and Matty’s father, Ray, but he popped off recently, saying he can see why Pacman would be insulted and upset about us smearing him without a morsel of proof as a drug cheater, so Ray may be fair game for a bout with Floyd. Mayweather has never beaten a 60 year old but we think we can get the BBBofC to give Pop Hatton a one time license.”
The inflamed source said L’il Floyd has no plans to do any fistic harm to Mother Hatton or to the girlfriends of either Ricky or Matty Hatty.
“Floyd would not go there but I just hope these lovely ladies don’t do anything to upset trainer and uncle Roger. He may not be able to go to the UK, ditto for Floyd Sr., due to criminal records, but we just wouldn’t want to take the chance.
“Roger is looking to clean up his record in that area after getting his lights dimmed by female boxer Melissa ‘Guard Your Grill’ St. Vil, a real female boxer.
“You might say that, with her lampbashing move, Melissa lit Unca Roger up.”
