Too bad Nikolai Valuev lost his heavyweight title to David Haye a couple of weekends ago. If the mammoth Russian were still in possession of the belt, he’d have no doubt been the next challenge for Manny Pacquiao.
Just imagine: A 5-foot-6-inch fighter who started his career at 106 pounds taking on a 7-2, 316-pounder. The indomitable Filipino would cut the big guy down to size with a flurry of body punches — not just as a strategy but out of necessity, since his arms aren’t long enough to reach Valuev’s noggin.
I know, this matchup sounds preposterous, and I’m not being the least bit serious. But how else to characterize Pacquiao’s boxing career than to speak of preposterous things? Not long ago, you’d have been laughed at if you suggested that Pacquiao could step up seven weight classes and take out the welterweight champion of the world. But that’s exactly what he did last Saturday night. Convincingly. Brutally. Fighting at a weight 40 percent heavier than where he was at the start of his career, he didn’t simply outpoint Miguel Cotto. He stood toe to toe with the heavy-handed Puerto Rican and took the 145-pounder’s best shots in the first couple of rounds, then put Cotto on the canvas in each of the next two, and beat him up from that point onward. Cotto was bloodied and in full retreat when the ref mercifully stopped the bout midway through the 12th round. Then Manny wrapped around his waist a record seventh world title belt.
But Pacquiao was not done for the night. After a quick shower and a few words with the adoring boxing press, Manny headed right over to a hotel lounge down the Vegas strip and started singing. In front of a paying audience. Talk about confidence! Before the biggest and toughest bout of his life, the guy had booked a concert for fight night. What an encore.
Now, it’s not unprecedented for a boxer to pick up a microphone and take a jab at entertaining. But on the same evening as a bout? That definitely earns Pacquiao a spot near the top of my ranking of all-time best singing boxers. But he doesn’t get the top spot. Manny may be the fight game’s reigning pound-for-pound king, but he’s not The Greatest.
Here’s my top 10:
1. Muhammad Ali was as smooth a singer as he was a ring dancer. Sam Cooke, a true entertainment heavyweight, didn’t duet with any old palooka:
2. Cassius Clay had his moments as a vocal stylist even before he converted to Islam:
3. Manny Pacquiao doesn’t hit notes with the same consistency as he hits opponents’ chins, but I love his audaciousness, as seen on The Jimmy Kimmel Show:
4. Oscar De La Hoya earned a Grammy nomination for his 2000 album of Latin pop, but the music is so slickly produced — sort of like the guy singing the songs — that I couldn’t bring myself to rank it any higher:
5. I knew Roy Jones Jr. had once tried his hand at pro basketball, but bluegrass music? What a renaissance man:
Oops, wrong Roy Jones. Try this one:
6. A caroling Mike Tyson isn’t going to make anyone throw away their Big Crosby Christmas album. (Unless he tells them to.) Some might listen to him and wish their ears had been bitten off. But you’ve got to hand it to Iron Mike for not taking himself too seriously. (At least in this instance.) And once again, Jimmy Kimmel factors into the ranking:
7. Larry Holmes is painfully off-key, but he earns some points for knowing his place, which is obscured behind a sonic wall of instrumentation and attention-grabbing choreography:
8. George Foreman secures his spot with a spot-on impression of that renowned crooner, William Shatner:
9. Rio the boxer would have ranked higher if he weren’t a dog:
10. And finally, there’s no doubt who deserves to be at the bottom of the heap, always and forever. You notice how so many of the boxers who sing are heavyweights? It’s because they’re so big that no one has the guts to tell them to shut up. But someone should have shushed Joe Frazier . . . or at least asked him what he was Smokin’ when he decided he was a singer:
