“The man who has no imagination has no wings.”–MUHAMMAD ALI.
I am sure that Muhammad did not coin that phrase but he’s repeated it often enough that some people think it was his creation.
I thought of the Ali line when I heard that big mouthed British heavyweight pretender, David “Hayemaker” Haye suddenly pulled out of his June 20 heavyweight title challenge against Wladimir Klitschko in Germany.
I don’t know whether the Londoner and ex-cruiserweight champ scratched due to a hangnail or a broken hand. I am hearing buzz about a hand injury but, with a multimillion purse on the line and both English TV and HBO involved along with high-paying Germany, his injur had best indeed be a serious one.
You can get a bad rep by leaving promoters and TV networks in the lurch like this especially when 40,000 plus soccer stadium seats have been peddled at lofty prices.
Klitschko’s connections say the show rolls on minus the Hayemaker. American agent Sheldon “Don’t Tinkle With” Finkel’s phone lines were ringing off the hook late Wednesday as volunteers of America, including Kevin “Kingpin” Johnson or their emissaries, checked to offer the services as a substitute challenger.
All those nerved up people need to chill, to go into Frankie Goes to Hollywood relax mode because, as per usual, your Everlast Einstein Michael Lewis Cassius Marley has the greatest solution and substitution imaginable.
Team Klit must immediately ring up British promoter Mick Hennessy and book his colorful tyro, Tyson Fury, for this big bout.
Hererwith the top reasons why hell hath no Fury like Tyson if he gets a Klitschko crack:
1. One Brit checks out, another exciting one checks in.
2. Wlad can brag later on about fighting “Tyson.”
3. Fury, who has gypsy blood and a nonstop mouth that makes Haye seem like a tightlipped librarian, is bigger than Wlad. Fury is almost a seven footer.
4. Tyson can use “Gypsy Woman” sung by Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions as ring entrance music.
5. Anything is better than sending in yet another no hoper American to lose in a big heavyweight bout in Deutschland. Poland had more victories in 1939 than US heavyweights have had in recent years in Germany.
6. Tyson can’t lose even if he gets waxed in one or two rounds. See the attached video which demonstrates how he clevely tests his own granite like chin during a fight. Everyone will expect Fury to lose so anything he does will be a big plus.
7. Did I mention that Tyson is 6-0, all by knockout.
8. Can Tyson do worse than Ricky Hatton did against Manny Pacquiao? That does not seem possible as long as Fury leaves the ring without six minutes of skid marks on the back of his boxing shorts.
9. It’s about time one of the tinkerers, the Traveling People, got a heavyweight title shot.
10. I refer again to Tyson’s self chin test. This one punch alone shows he’s got a more solid jaw than the soft-chinned Haye.
