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Who knew? Floyd Mayweather has turned out to be the Rip Van Winkle of boxing.
He wasn?t snoozing for 20 years like booze loving Dutchman in the Catskills but evidently Mayweather fell into a deep, trancelike sleep the day after he outpointed Oscar De La Hoya in the decidedly dull ?Businessman?s Special? bout in which only feelings were bruised.
Mayweather?s apparent ignorance that he lost his Pound For Pound mythical title while he was retired in no myth.
He seems amazed and flummoxed by this development. Its a reminder of how Van Winkle still believed New York was one of 13 colonies under the taxing thumb of King George III.
I am starting to think that, other than his wrestling foray against mammoth goon Big Show and his flashy footwork on the ?Dancing With The Stars? TV program, Mayweather spent his retirement locked down in a cave in or near Pakistan along with Bin Laden.
Maybe that?s why a friend of mine said he saw PBF walking around a Vegas nightclub recently wearing an urban turban.
Mayweather?s never traveled to Egypt but this man is in denial, if not in the Nile. I figure that, as a public service, I should provide some ?catch up? so that Mayweather can get with the program and realize how the world has changed since Manny Pacquiao and his Pinoy Gang pounced on PBF?s old turf.
As far as your sadness over losing your precious best around crown, you will get over it. Only way you can steal the crown back is beating Manny but you know that.
You look at some of those Pacman knockout compilation videos, Floyd, you might not even want to give it a go.
Do you remember the old refrain from the song, something about how ?the rain in Spain fell mainly on the plain?”
Your reign ended when Megamanny bulldozed your business associate, the Golden Boy, and it started to fade further from memory when Pacman demolished Ricky Hatton in eight less rounds than it took you.
Btw, I love your explanation that it his booze binges that made Hatton easy work for Manny. You must think Ricky was some sort of sarsaparilla only drinker who only began hitting the sauce after he fought you.
Shrinks call that rationalizing, Floyd.
Here?s some other news flashes for you, Money May Pay The IRS:
George Bush is out of work, bumming around the ranch in Crawford, Texas. It?s Obama Time, baby!
Dick (and the key name is just that) Cheney is working on his hunting marksmanship when he?s not crying like a baby about everything good that President Obama does.
The Yankees have not won a World Series in this century, pal.
Oprah Winfrey gained a lot of weight back. I hear she?s very keen on having the Real Emperor of boxing and maybe his Pacmom on her show. That will really burn your outsized ego, won?t it?
Your boy Fitty Cent seems to have weathered the economic recession. He hasn?t been reduced to being known as Quarter, he remains a half a buck.
Brian Kenny, solid boxing guy and a down to earth fellow, remains at ESPN. I am starting to think you know that and you request that only he grill you. Maybe you enjoy Brian?s barbecues.
Time magazine had Pacman plastered all over its Most Influential poll. Manny was in there with world leaders, Tiger Woods and superstar entertainers. I must have missed the page about you, Floyd.
Your old bossman, Bob Arum, remains Manny?s lead promoter which you claim is a problem in making a bout against him.
Floyd, a fair financial split will get the mega bout done on paper. Again, don?t look at the Pacman KO reel because it could be really scary for you. I don?t want to see your knees rocking and knocking in your boxing booties.
Oh, yeah, almost forgot. That Joke Coach Freddie Roach is still around and is universally recognized as boxing?s best trainer and strategist.
This Joker Coach said Oscar couldn?t pull the offensive trigger any longer and that came true.
This Joker Coach, mocked by your father and your snaggletooth uncle, said Hatton-Pacquiao would only last three rounds. I see, that shows Roach is slipping because he was off by one round.
Remember what I said earlier about rationalizing, Floyd? There you go again.
Hey, one final thing. Tecate Beer put out a nifty commemorative can for the Hatton-Pacquiao bout with pictures of the Englishman and the Pinoy Idol on the side panel.
Have you ever been accorded this honor, sir? Didn?t think so, bro.
Maybe Golden Boy can give you one of those souvenir cans.
Empty the contents and then you can play I?m Kicking Pacman?s Can.
We?ll soon find out if that is as close as you ever get to putting your foot up Manny?s you know what.
Wakey, wakey, Floyd Joy Mayweather Jr.
You slept too long like Rip did.
Too bad you didn?t know and bear in mind Don King?s famous admonition.
?You don?t get nothing from sleep but a dream my man,? Uncle Don likes to say.
Michael is a former sports columnist at the New York Post. He was a criminal defense attorney and worked for sports legends Howard Cosell and Don King. Marley also operates BoxingConfidential.com. Email him your thoughts. He makes it a practice to always recommend Pacland and Philboxing
