It?s only a wicked rumor at this juncture but you know how often rumors turn into facts in the Bizarro World of big time boxing.
(Just the other day, some jagoff suggested I was getting most of my page views writing about Manny Pacquiao rather than, Soupy Nate Campbell. Balderdash say I in response.)
But I am hearing, not super hearing but hearing with my own ears, that one of the sticking points in putting together the Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Manny Pacquiao mega mega mega bout is that the Pretty Boy camp and the key word is boy, wants this fight to be held outdoors in the scorchingly hot Las Vegas weather.
Apparently there is at least one student of history in the Mayweather camp who knows that when the white guy Superman (alias Clark Kent) fought ring Superman and boxing icon Muhammad Ali the Ali camp was slick enough to insist the fight take place al fresco underneath a scorching red sun so that Superman would have none of his special powers.
I was reminded of this when I read how some “health nuts” are asking the adoring Filpino pulbic to distance themselves for their Idol upon his arrival back home. Some government officials are really going over the top on this swine flu because, as far as I know, it only affects pigs such as boxing promoters.
“Pacquiao flying home on schedule would be “a nightmare for all public health practitioners”, said Anthony Golez, spokesman for President Arroyo and the government’s National Disaster Coordinating Council.
Hey, Mr. Golez, news flash: Super Manny, while his arms might get tired, flies home without the use of an airplane!
Now back to 1978 and the night Superman got smashed in a boxing ring.
As a concession on their side, the Ali camp allowed the man with the ?S? on his chest to wear his tights and his flowing red cape.
This was justified under the amusing theory ?that the spectators would not have been able to tell the two fighters apart? if Superman was not in his superhero getup.
(All I can say is that, at that time, Superman must have a bronze tan which would have been the envy of even the mahogany-skinned, sun worshipping actor George Hamilton.)
I think the Nevada commission would be fair to the Mayweather camp into agreeing to this outdoors under the red desert sun proviso in fairness to both boxers.
Otherwise, Super Man-ny would be able to use his faster than a locomotive speed, his X-ray vision, his super hearing (to listen in on the Mayweather corner) and other staples of his Super tool kit.
But to insure complete fair play, Nevada will have to make sure that there is no hanky panky in the Mayweather camp.
Basically, the only fear Super Man-ny would have from this foe is if Mayweather stealthily loaded his gloves with Kryptonite.
I have no idea where they could get some but I bet the Antonio Margocheato camp could tell us.
Perhaps this is the only way to make it a fair fight. As I always say after having a few Red Bulls with vodka plus a handful of Cialis pills, it?s good to be fair but firm. (Medical caution: Call your doctor if you run out of vodka for more than four hours.)
Yesterday, I alluded to Pacquiao?s super powers but, as I delve into Superman lore and legend, I am seeing more and more amazing parallels to their lives and careers.
More when I return to these pages, of course, but how about this for a leadoff hitter?
In his alter ago, Superman is Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for The Daily Planet, one of the few American newspapers which does not have a ?Going Out Of Business? sale sign on it.
In his alter ego, Pacquiao pens his Hemingwayesque column entitled ?Kumbinayson which, or so I am told, nearly draws as many readers as the purple prose of the awesome Pinoy sports legend, ?Home Recah? Trinidad.
This Trinidad, for all you readers who ask me constantly, is no relation to Tito Trinidad, his father Don Tito Trinidad or the Caribbean nation which gave the world the calypso great and my good friend, The Mighty Sparrow.
Which reminds me?it?s a bird, it?s a plane?no, it?s Super Man-ny and I think I am going to henceforth drop the hyphen there the way Pacquiao dropped Ricky Hatton and the way Pacquiao should be able to drop Mayweather?
Even without use of his special powers!
(I promise no Pacquiao as Batman columns but I am tempted to compare Pacman aide and Canadian puck stopper Michael Koncz to the Winged One?s faithful ward, Robin.
Btw, what is with so many super heroes being Men In Tights? Talk about being secure in their masculinity.)
