PART ONE OF TWO PARTS
Back in the day, some sniveling syncophant was trying to suck up to the brilliant wit Groucho Marx.
?I?m a big fan of yours, Mr. Marx,? the brown-nosing type said.
Groucho did not miss a beat.
?That?s good because if gets any hotter in here, I will need a big fan!?
So my subject today are fans, in this case the huge and loyal fan bases enjoyed by both Manny Pacquiao and Ricky Hatton.
The Merry Mancunians and the Pachuggers, from the mild to the extreme. How are they similar and how do they differ:
1. Hattonites stick to their pints meaning they drink beer and only beer in massive quantities. Pacfans mix it up, switching from a cold San Miggie to a screwdriver or some wine from time to time.
2. Pacfans don?t know (British heavyweight hopeful) David Haye from old-time cowboy movie guy Gabby Hayes. Hattonites are taking a bit of a shine to Haye but they never forget he?s from that sin city of London.
3. Hattonites find Pacquiao to be an amiable, engaging lad and they won?t mind seeing him come to Gunchester, er I mean Manchester for the rematch after the One and Only Ricky Hatton beats MP in Vegas May 2. Pacfans laugh, knowing full well that Hatton will be in the rear view mirror May 3 and the focus will go to Floyd Mayweather Jr. primarily and Juan Manuel Marquez secondarily.
4. Pacfans, or at least the extreme Pacnuthuggers, find even the mildest criticism of their Pinoy idol to be racist even when it comes from another Filipino. Hattonites reject anyone who knocks their boy as some sober as a judge idiot.
5. Hattonites are peaceful blokes, by and large, even when the suds overtake their systems. They show their sense of community in their whacky costumes and constant repletion of the ?Hatton Winter Wonderland? song. But so are the vast majority of Pacfans?not many thugs or gansgta types here?and I am willing to bet there?s no brawls among the crowd at the MGM May 2.
6. Pacfans will go into extreme shock should Manny lose to Ricky. Psychiatrists will have rush to Manila and to the provinces so huggers can get a check up from the neck up. Hattonites, by contrast, give their boy a pass as long as he fights hard (and he always does). In fact, their adoration of Ricky will increase with a loss. Some label this trait class and sportsmanship, others think it?s an offshoot of Brunoitis, named after loveable British heavyweight loser Frank Bruno. The more Bruno lost, the wider his national popularity became.
7. Pacfans are thin and wiry, in the main. The meaner ones made fun of the White Gorilla?s (that?s me, newbies) tonnage when he tipped the Fairbanks at an unsightly 330 pounds. The slimming process goes on but Hattonites are big and beefy guys who think you can be too thin to win. Having meals in a pub take that toll on the waistline, especially when combined with all that lager. Hattonites are light eaters, the minute it turns light, they go for chow. They love that streaky bacon.
8. Hattonites are all around fight fans. They love the legends and still hold Mike Tyson, for example, in high esteem. The Mancunians came out in force to see Mexican icon Barrera against Amir Khan. Most Pachuggers, especially the nuttier variety, don?t know Julio Cesar Chavez, El Gran Campeon, from Hugo Chavez, Venezuelan dictator and boss of Edwin Valero. In fact, many Pachuggers aren?t sure who Valero is.
9. Some Pacfans condemn Pinoy journalists (even venerable ones such as Recah Trinidad and Ronnie Nathanielsz) who scribble even the slightest criticism of ther Hero and National Fist. Such scribes are looked upon as traitors, Benedict Arnold types. In the UK, Hattonites take what even the highly-regarded media pundits?including Lord Jeff Powell, Ron Lewis and Gareth Davies say or write?with many grains of salt. They might call a sports journalist a wanker but their tolerance for criticism of Ricky or another British boxer is is strong. After all, the scribes are critics and critics criticize, right? The typical Hattonite likes a patriotic scribe but not a complete cheerleader.
10. When Pacman packs it in, that sad but inevitable day, a goodly amount of Pachuggers will lose interest in boxing. Nonito Donaire and other attention worthy Pinoy pugs don?t have the same flair or charisma as their Super Hero. But Pacfans who were boxing buffs before he became Megamanny will stay loyal to the sport. Some of them still recall the halcyon days of Flash Elorde.
