Don King laughed his heartiest laugh when one day at his South Florida world headquarters someone asked him if he knew the difference between the white man (not Dana White, silly) fairy tale and the black man fairy tale.
King admitted he did not. So the joketeller said it?s how they begin.
The white man fairy tale starts with the traditional ?once upon a time??
The black man version leads off with ?you ain?t gonna believe this shit??
I am reminded of this joke and King?s booming laughter by reading that his archnemesis of four decades, Bob Arum, has had a bout of insanity.
Arum, who always has material reasons for any trial balloon, told a Las Vegas scribe, or as DK would refer to him as a ?boss scribe,? that there was serious interest in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, hosting what may be the biggest fight of 2009, Manny Pacquiao against Ricky Hatton.
Arum rhapsodized about what a great and wonderful place Dubai is, a wonderland blooming out of the desert sands and so on.
(Which reminds me of how King used to call his various Vegas fight venues, ?a fabulous oasis in the desert,? but let?s not get sidetracked.)
I fear Arum, still sharp as a tack mentally at the same age as King (they both claim to be 78 give or take), crossed over into the Twilight Zone on this one. Again, I?m sure he has his commercial reasons for this poppycock. Arum is gilding someone?s lily for future personal gain for sure.
Does anyone in their right mind in ?09 think, as we begin the year with Israel?s ground and air assault pounding the Gaza Strip and Hamas firing rockets into Israel on a daily basis, that the TV networks, be they American, Filipino or British) are going to want to put such a big event in an Arab nation?
The broadcast expenses would be prohibitive in the first place but the overriding fear, and a real concern, would be providing an opportunity for Muslim extremists to stage a massive attack.
So, forgive me Uncle Bob, if I don?t get right on the phone with Royal Emirates to book my plane flights to Dubai.
Pacman-Hatton may land in Las Vegas but the MGM Grand Mirage folks are not going to throw rose petals and mounds of money at the feet of the promoters to get it. I notice that nobody in Vegas spoke about the casino ?drops? (meaning their gambling income) jumping wildly when Manny beat Oscar De La Hoya at the MGM Grand Dec. 6.
It?s no secret that the ?whales? and other high rollers skipped that event.
Hatton and Megamanny, in my opinion, belongs in England where a lively crowd of 50,000 can easily be generated.
Arum?s suggestion of Dubai is so ridiculous that his around the Top Rank office nickname of ?The Sehik? must have gone to his turban.
Which brings me back to The Donald.
He was trying to up the ante from Vegas when Larry Holmes was set to fight Tom Atocan or some such nondescript heavyweight title pretender.
Suddenly, taken aback by a low ball offer from Nevada, King started waxing enthusiastically about all things Egyptian. I think he even started walking like an Egyptian.
King kept telling the boss scribes this fight would go to the banks of the river Nile, that the ring would be set up and lit brilliantly with the backdrop of the ancient pyramids behind it.
Rich people from the world over would flock to pricy ringside seats. They wouldn’t even have to bring their Mummies.
None of us cynics made roundtrip reservations to Cairo, of course.
?The closest this fight will come to Egypt and the pyramids,? the AP quipster Ed Schuler said, ?Is Cleopatra?s Barge.?
For you Vegas virgins, that?s a nightclub with a nautical theme inside Caesars Palace.
Experts have long theorized there is a thin line between genius and idiocy.
It?s hard to picture Sheik Arum in a long, flowing caftan. What would his rabbi say?
Outer and Inner Mongolia have a better chance of hosting Pacquiao-Hatton than Dubai does.
Even in the shifting sands of boxing this one is a non-starter.
But, hey Zionist Bob, thanks a minion for providing a good laugh in a terrible time.
