Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder are giving boxing fans an early Christmas present on December 1 at Staples Center in Los Angeles. Jacob Marley has come rattling his chains and Wilder hopes to beat him with every link. Shakespeare best describes the lumbering giant?s attitude:
England that never did not ever shall Lie at the proud foot of a conqueror.
He is the hope of England, a tin-eared entertainer whose musical feats behind a microphone are both embarrassing and laughable. This hotdog would probably do no better on ?Dancing with the Stars? although he would no doubt relish the chance to stumble around before a television audience.
Fury is a master of psychological deception. His words intimidate opponents into submission more than his fists. Bumbling puffball punches seem like cannonballs to frightened opponents. Opponents see his size and assume he is breaking rocks because that is what he said he was going to do. He is not capable of putting dimples in sandstone. Wilder is not likely to be intimidated.
One of the great mysteries in heavyweight boxing is how did a plodding monster of a heavyweight, who had fought no one and seemed to have limited skills, beat Wladimir Klitschko for a portion of the heavyweight title? How was this possible with so few punches thrown, and even fewer landing, by both fighters? The fight gave new meaning to my own definition of heavyweights, the Snoorzerweight division. Klitschko averaged only 4.5 punches per round. Many fighters throw more than that on the stool during the rest period. In several rounds he never landed a single punch.
Super big boxers have always fascinated the fans starting in the bare-knuckle days with a giant named Charles Freeman. A reporter described him as seven feet tall and 315 pounds. He had been working in an American circus until British Boxer Ben Caunt, touring the U.S., discovered him and saw the monetary possibilities of turning him into a boxer. They were soon making their own tour back in Britain.
An occasional realist attempted to bring light on the ?American Atlas.? The editor of Sportsman?s Magazine said, ?Freeman has as little pretensions or inclinations to boxing as any noncombative member of the Peace Society.? Such inclinations toward reason were drowned out by Caunt?s propaganda machine who credited Freeman?s lugubrious, plodding style and bear-hugging tactics as assets.
A bout was arranged with Britain?s Tipton Slasher. The Slasher proved to be even more inept than Freeman. Because of his size, Freeman had no punching power and could only hold and toss the Slasher to the ground. Because of a thick fog and nightfall, the bout was stopped after 70 rounds.
Despite the poor showing by both participants, a rematch was scheduled and again the boxing elite fell for the ruse. The boxers proved even more incompetent than before. The Slasher rushed Freeman in the 37th round and, without being hit, fell to the ground. People thought the fix was in. The Slasher claimed he had simply dazed himself, and then slipped. The referee disqualified the Slasher giving Freeman his first and only win. He was so ridiculed by the press that he returned to the circus.
Another ?Big? boy was Primo Carnera. Anyone who knows boxing knows that story, another circus performer turned boxer at the request of the mob. Through a series of fixed fights he rises to the top only to be almost killed by Max Baer, a real boxer who could not be bought. His story is best told by Budd Schulberg?s novel ?The Harder they Fall.?
People enjoy comparing the David and Goliath story with boxers of unequal size. Although Deontay Wilder is not small he is still smaller than Tyson Fury and is made to look even smaller by the press. The David and Goliath story is continuously misread to show that a smaller person can overcome great odds to defeat someone stronger. People have let their emotions and religious beliefs outweigh their logical and military reason. Goliath is a big fellow and a fierce fighting machine, a soldier protected by massive amounts of heavy armor, shield, and sword. A propaganda machine as powerful as any hype today backs him. He is also outdated, a lumbering creature slow of movement and dull of wit. He is old technology. David goes into battle with the latest technology, the best and deadliest piece of artillery a soldier can have, a sling. Slingers were some of the most valuable units in the army at the time. It was said that a proficient slinger could hit and kill a man at 200 yards. It is not David who is outgunned; it is Goliath. The big guy failed to live up to the propaganda and David puts him away by maintaining his distance and firing from the outside.
The December 1st match will be amusing, possibly even interesting. Fans may even love the early Christmas present. What they do not want is a lump of coal. Wilder would prefer to make Fury the ghost of Christmas past.
