What a roller coaster of emotions this past weekend. It was filled with the highs of the terrific battle between Izrael Vazquez and Rafael Marquez encompassed with the lows of worrying and wondering whether Victor Burgos was going to recover from the brutal beating he took at the hands of Vic Darchinyan.
According to a report by Robert Morales of the Press Telegram, Burgos has come out of medically-induced coma and is responding to doctors at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center in Torrance, California. I don’t know about you all but I experienced a huge sense of relief upon reading this news. While I don’t know Victor personally I as well as the staff here at Boxingconfidential was saddened and worried at the potential disastrous outcome of this past Saturday’s bout. Hopefully the thoughts and prayers coming from all those in boxing, as well as the huge heart of Victor help him make a full recovery and enjoy a life or retirement.
In speaking with my fellow scribes we felt that it would be rather inappropriate to do our patented comical recap of this past weekend due to the serious nature of “El Acorazado’s” injuries. Upon hearing the good news it seems that we can offer a rather light-hearted version of the Boxing Rookie’s rather dysfunction coverage of the event.
Here goes a day in the life…
So as always I’m trying to do a million things at once. I wake up Saturday morning and compile a list of things to do before I arrive at LAX around noon time. I chain smoke about 3 KOOL cigarettes and that gets me in productive mode. I eat a bowl of food and drink some water out of the toilet to get my nutrition as I am going to need it, dealing with my consummate prankster colleague Ricardo “Kid Cuba” Lois. I give him a quick call and he states, “Ay man, save your appetite, I’m taking you to one of the best burrito spots in town.” I mumble to myself, “Knowing this clown, it’s a taco truck that serves nothing but tortillas stuffed with dirt and flowers.”
As I go to work to take care of some things I’ve been procrastinating about due to my involvement with this crazy website, I make a mental note to not forget my contact lenses so that I can view the fights without having to squint the whole time.
Note: I usually don’t wear glasses or contacts as they bother me. I only put them in when attending a special event ex. boxing, the zoo, or a strip club.
As I work vigorously away trying to makeup for a week’s worth of procrastination, I’m constantly deciding whether or not to pack a bag. Airports are a major pain in the asshole. You can’t even bring a freakin tube of toothpaste without having it scanned, examined, and having the dogs check it out. I decide against bringing anything. When I travel I like to spend the least amount of time at the airport.
So as I call my sister to see if I can get a ride to SFO, she groggily answers the phone and says, “Do you know what time it is?” I’m like yes, “It’s 10:30am, I’ve been up since 6:30 and have been quite productive!” She chuckles and says, “I’ll be there in 15 minutes you monkey.”
What is it with people referring to me as “monkey”. I don’t get it.
In any case, she gives me a ride to the airport and I arrive about 13 minutes before my flight is set to take off. Like the genius that I am I have already checked in online so I’m confident in my precision timing to make the flight. I almost forget how stupid I am when I walk into the wrong security gate. I waste a precious 4 minutes that I don’t have to spare waiting in the wrong line like an imbecile. So now I’m stressed, I’m thinking to myself, “I’m gonna miss this flight, Ricardo is gonna berate me, Marley is gonna fire me, I’m such a disappointment to myself and society.”
So I rush over to the correct gate and quickly strip off my gorilla costume to pass through security rather quickly. As I arrive at the gate, they tell me the plane has already closed their doors. My heart drops. I quickly tell them, “I work for Boxingconfidential, don’t you know who I am, I’m the Boxing Bookie!”
A big smile appears from the desk operator and she says, “Boxingconfidential, I love your site, you are one of the best writers I’ve read in recent times. Hold on, let me inform the pilots that we have a celebrity in our midst.”
Ok, maybe I have a wild imagination, as this didn’t happen. Not even close.
What really happened is the desk worker rolled her eyes at me and informed the crew that there was a zoo animal getting shipped from the San Francisco Zoo to the Los Angeles Zoo and that it was pertinent to the survival of the monkey species that he get on the plane. I quickly thank her and settle in my seat.
Shit!!! My contact lenses are no where to be found. It’s too late now. I am a worthless creature.
Part 2 coming soon…
