By the time you are reading this, the holiday season will have arrived (although one of these years it ought to stay home, just to see if we’re still paying attention and/or to give our American Express cards a break).
It’s Thanksgiving, a time for watching the hired hands wrestle with the Kirstie Alley balloon at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The Detroit Lions wrestle with the idea of playing a football game on national television. And your crazy Uncle Sid wrestle with whatever he can find in the liquor cabinet when the rest of the family is passed out on the couch or in the upstairs guest bedroom with a tryptophan hangover.
It may not be the ideal time to reflect on the year in local sports. But we’re going to do it anyway because after UNLV’s loss to Santa Barbara in basketball last Friday, I just don’t see a lot happening between now and the end of the year.
Besides, I’ve got a house full of in-laws and they tell me I had better start feeding our local sports icons because they’ve got a crazy Uncle Sid, too. And he keeps asking where I keep the cognac.
Turkey dinner with all the trimmings: Las Vegas Motor Speedway. It wasn’t broke but Chris Powell and his staff at the 1.5-mile speed emporium fixed it anyway, repaving and reconfiguring the racing surface and announcing a bazillion dollars of cosmetic changes that would even give Cher a run for her money.
Turkey dinner with all the trimmings II: Las Vegas Bowl/Brigham Young fans. Two straight sellouts at the Las Vegas Bowl? You’re looking swell, Bronco Mendenhall. It’s nice to have you back where you belong.
Turkey dinner with all the trimmings III: Team USA vs. Puerto Rico basketball exhibition. The Puerto Rico players had the Burger King logo stitched on their jerseys but a Whopper of a crowd turned out to watch the NBA all-stars dunk on them at the Thomas & Mack Center.
Turkey dinner with all the trimmings and an extra piece of pumpkin pie: Manny Pacquiao and Erik Morales. These pint-sized warriors with fists like anvils put the fight back in the fight game with their savage trilogy.
Turkey dinner with all the trimmings, an extra piece of pumpkin pie and an extra drumstick: Andre Agassi. For that beautiful swan song at Flushing Meadows, and those eloquent words he spoke at center court afterward.
Mashed potatoes and gravy: The Tennis Channel Open. Despite weather suited for polar bears and last-minute defections (shame on you, Andy Roddick), the return of big-time tennis to Las Vegas proved to be a winner and not a double fault.
Cranberry cobbler and rum raisin pudding: The Las Vegas 51s and Las Vegas Wranglers. Our minor league baseball and hockey teams continue to provide major league value – especially when it comes to entertaining a family of four or more.
Green-bean casserole: Ultimate Fighting Championship. Never have there been so many ways to get your butt kicked – and so many people willing to pay good money to see it.
Sweet potatoes: Floyd Mayweather Jr. Pound for pound and yam for yam, nobody does it better than boxing’s Pretty Boy Floyd.
Stove-Top Stuffing: Greg Maddux as a Cub (9-11, 4.69 ERA).
Your mom’s corn bread stuffing: Greg Maddux as a Dodger (6-3, 3.30 ERA).
Cold turkey sandwich: UNLV basketball. If you’re going to lose at home to a University of California satellite school, the last two letters had better be “LA” and not “SB.”
Cold turkey sandwich served at the kids’ table away from the grown-ups: UNLV football.
Need I say more, pilgrim?
